The Outsiders' Edge

(No time for intro, must get to story. Ben Halls can be found at http://www.thebenhallsblog.blogspot.com/ Check him out, he might be famous or something.)

No time for a fun and quirky entrance segway this week. Far too much to get done to go through the motions of foreplay. Have a quirky image to enjoy, and lets get down to business.

“I'm a chilling out naked kinda guy, I tried turning it on while standing underneath. Bad times...”

Manchester United And The Amazing Sinking Finances

Oh Malcolm Glazer, thou art one heartless bitch. Also, if you don’t like financial stuff just skip this  bit. I won’t take it personally, I promise.

One of the biggest stories of the last few weeks in the Premiership has been the financial state of one of English football’s, and probably the world’s, biggest clubs – Manchester United. When the Glazer family, who have done such a wonderful (sic) job of running the Tampa Bay Buccaneers, decided to expand their sporting empire to the Premiership, they chose Manchester United.

At the time, this move was met with a mixture of fear, dread and loathing by Manchester United fans who were all very angry at the fact the Glazer’s weren’t buying the club in the sense that Chelsea or Manchester City have been bought, where the owners had the cash lying around down the backs of their sofas. Oh no, the Glazers were buying the club by borrowing the money to buy it. That meant they took out a £500m odd loan out against the club and an extra £200m or so in personal loans, meaning that the day they bought the last share of Manchester United stock to take ownership, the club was in debt by about £700m. That is about $1.15bn.

Just take a second for those figures to sink in.

“The Manchester United Accountant on one of their more 'with it' days”

Manchester United owe around seven hundred million pounds. Or, if you make the lifestyle choice to be American, they owe one point one five BILLION dollars to various banks and hedge funds. That is absolutely staggering. That is unheard of. The club’s debt could buy an NFL franchise or pay one week of the Yankee’s payroll. It may even be enough to feed John Goodman for a month.

When the Glazers announced their evil plans to take United in 2003 (they completed the sale in 2005), there were fierce fan protests. There is even a football club called FC United that plays in the lower leagues of English football that was set up by disgruntled fans who vowed to give up the Red Devils. Anti-Glazer chants were sung in the stands and everyone who supported the club were all very upset indeed.

Then, things didn’t really change. Revenue went up on the business end of the club, the team on the field stayed at the top and won trophies and the worries were swept under the carpet. Consider it like a wife who finds a saucy text message on her husbands phone from another woman but then chooses to ignore it, taking ignorance over confronting the issue. Well, in the last few weeks the wife has found a few more messages, a thong in the car and a strange rash on her husband’s doodad. Metaphorically speaking, of course…

A few days ago, Manchester United released their financial figures for the last year and it painted a grim picture. Overall, the club made a profit of around £40m, not a bad achievement, but that was a very misleading figure. That profit included money from Ronaldo’s £80m transfer to Real Mardid. Without his sale, the club would have fallen another £40m into debt.

The reason that the club would have fallen another £40m into debt? The interest rates on the £700m\$1.15bn loans that the Glazers took out to pay for the club.

Please leave a comment at the bottom of this article if you know any good bounty hunters.

Let’s hugely simplify just what is happening to Manchester United here. Obviously, the intricate financial details that you have to put together to build up all that debt are a little bit more advanced than the scenario that I’m about to put forward but, hey, I ‘aint no banker, yo.

Let’s say that you wanted something, but couldn’t quite afford it. For the sake of argument, lets say you wanted to go on vacation with all your friends to Las Vegas, except you couldn’t afford on your current bank balance. So, lets say that rather than save up and buy your tickets, you just scrape together your spending money and put the flights on a credit card with the intention to pay them off gradually afterwards. Well, as we all know in Vegas you do dumb things so by the time that you’ve lost a few times at blackjack (“The dealer is showing a 6, double down baby!”), realised that your home game poker skills don’t stand up to proper rounders and drunkenly stuck a few bottles of whiskey on said credit card, you end up owing a lot. For the sake of maths, lets say you end up owing around $1,000.

You get home from  your little trip and after several scalding hot showers to get the dirt off of you, you realise “Holy crap, I owe $1,000!” Its not that bad, you think, things will keep on ticking over the same way they always do. Except you forgot that the interest rate on the credit card means that you can only afford to pay that off, meaning the $1,000 doesn’t budge. Then with the interest building up, the $1,000 starts to grow, generating more interest. All in all, looking back that bottle of whiskey and drunken idea that you could somehow count cards seems more and more foolish.

That is the situation Manchester United are in. The interest rates on the loans, which are around 10% for the £500m bank loans and 16% for the £200m hedge fund loans, are crippling the club. They can barely afford to pay those off. Throw in penalties for not moving the sum, interest rate hikes on certain dates and the fact that any top club still needs to invest whatever cash it has in players and it means that Manchester United are broke.

Finally, the Glazers are starting to do something about it, though. They have recently raised £504m from private investors to clear some of the debts and cut the interest rate (the private bonds have an interest rate of about 8%, significantly less than the banks charge) which should alleviate some of the suffering, but it may be too little too late. Right now, there are two options for United on the road ahead

Option one is that a nice big rich group who have cash reserves buy them. They can clear the debts in one foul swoop, pay the Glazers a few hundred million quid in profit and have the cash reserves to buy players. There have been rumblings about even some of United’s wealthier fans doing this option, but the Glazers appear to be poo-pooing that option on site, saying they are in it for the ‘long run’. The ‘long run’ probably referring to the long run down the table to League One…

Option two is that the Glazers stay in control. United badly need player investment – namely, a new winger, goalkeeper, right back, striker and midfielder – but they won’t get it to the quality needed while still wrestling with £700m worth of debt, even at lower interest rates. More worryingly, Real Madrid and Barcelona are beginning to target United’s talismanic Wayne Rooney, reportedly offering around £70m for his services. If he has to go to help the debt problem…

No matter what way you look at it, United are in financial dire straights. United have got to now hope and pray to either a) keep winning on the pitch to keep the creditors at bay, or b) huge private investment. It is just that simple.

Lets see how Liverpool are doing, eh?

Right, enough of writing depressing things about Manchester United. Let’s check in on another team whose fortunes could be on the slide – Liverpool.

“There is an obvious reason for the similar poses between Rafa and the Manchester United Accountant.

Last time we stopped by Rafa’s merry gang of hop alongs, things weren’t exactly hunky dory. They were well out of the race for a Champions League spot, out of this year’s Champions League and generally looking miserable. Has anything changed?

Well, yes and no. Yes in the sense that they are playing a little bit better and are beginning to belly slide up the table a little bit. But, in a much bigger way, no – they are nowhere near where they should be and aren’t exactly showing the quality needing to break through.

Liverpool’s performances have been gradually getting better in the league, despite being unceremoniously dumped out of the FA Cup by Championship side Reading. When they beat Spurs 2-0 the other day, I would have said it was a proper turning point. Rather than a one off result, Rafa could have said “Look, we lost on the opening day to this team and struggled. Now we have beaten them, so we are that much better than we were. Let’s go forward with this.”

Instead, they drew 0-0 with relegation contenders Wolves in their next league game.

Currently, Liverpool are in 5^th place in the league and are just 3 points off of Spurs, who currently occupy that precious 4^th Champions League spot. However, on equal points with them in 5^th are Manchester City, who look absolutely rejuvenated under Mancini’s reign. City also have 2 games in hand, meaning that all of a sudden Liverpool could once more be 6 points off the Champions League pace. It is ridiculous counting Liverpool in the title chase at this stage as well  – they are 11 points off of 3^rd place alone.

Also just behind them are Aston Villa, one point back with one game in hand.

Liverpool, though, are still injury plagued with Gerard and Torres still picking up injuries regularly, with the later currently out for a month following a minor knee operation. If Liverpool do not qualify for this year’s Champions League they will have hell keeping those two stars at the club, and if they don’t it could be the start of a steady decline – Liverpool have been torrid without them.

Although I may make it seem this way, it really isn’t all doom and gloom for Liverpool. They have dragged themselves back over the last 8 games or so from a situation where a bottom half finish was more than conceivable to being back in the Champions League conversation. As a team, they have much more experience at that level than the likes of Spurs and Aston Villa and have a more gelled team than Manchester City. There is still a chance that they can avoid an internal apocalypse and qualify for next year’s premier European competition, but that is all it is – a chance.

Comings and Goings

There have been three important comings and goings so far since the last London Chronicles. Let’s have a little look shall we?

Owen Coyle boltin’ to Bolton

Former Burnley boss has Coyle has jumped ship back over to Bolton, this time to take on the club as manager. I really like this move for Bolton – they currently don’t have a lot going for them and those are the conditions that Coyle thrives under. His Burnley side, before they got promoted this season, were already feared after knocking out numerous Premier League teams in cup competitions. With him at the reigns, hopefully Bolton can pick up where they left off when Sam Allardyce left the club.

Eidur Gudjohnsen to Spurs

This move I can’t really understand, but who am I to second guess the genius that is Harry Redknapp? Spurs are pretty stacked at the striker position with Keane, Defoe and Crouch and have some talented wingers in Modric and Lennon. They don’t really need Gudjohnsen, who has always been a little bit over rated anyway. However, I suppose you could argue that if they really want to be a top 4 team they need top cover for key positions, and that was what the former Chelsea and Barcelona attacker will give them.

Robinho to Santos

This one broke literally as I was checking the Premiership table on the BBC website to see just where Liverpool were after last night’s games. Manchester City’s record signing – Brazilian striker Robinho – has left the City of Manchester stadium to go on loan at his former club Santos back home in Brazil.

“When asked about his move, Robinho said 'Baaaaaaaah! Waaaaaaah! Money money money money waaaaaaaaah!”

Although a few top European teams wanted him, I can understand Robinho’s move back to Brazil. That way he doesn’t end up playing for a potential rival and he is in the spotlight in his home country during a World Cup year. Also, as the move is only a 6 month loan, he could potentially be back with his head in the right place for next year’s campaign.

There is a much bigger story to this though. When Robinho snubbed Chelsea in favour of Manchester City and their newly acquired riches, his motivation was pure and simple – money. Nobody turns down Chelsea for Manchester City if they want silverware, or at least they didn’t at the time. Getting Robinho was important for City as it showed they had transfer market muscle. However, it never really worked out – he often sulked, underperformed and ran back to Brazil for ‘injury treatment’ whenever he got out of bed a little bit too fast.

Robinho was a mercantile player – not caring who he played for, just wanting the single biggest pay packet. There is nothing completely wrong with that – professional athletes have maybe an 18 year career with only about 10 of those years to make some serious wedge. You can’t blame them for wanting to make the most money to live off of that they can.

Still, they rarely work out and can often be very expensive mistakes for clubs. Once the honeymoon period of being paid £100k a week wears off, and somehow it does, they are often left at an uncompetitive club and the amazing drive that pushed them to become elite athletes kicks in in a major way. They become all uppity, sulky and end up kicking up a fuss.

Although nothing will stop clubs like Real Madrid, Barcelona, Manchester City or Chelsea from trying to gazump other team’s transfers by offering more money to club and player, hopefully the continued failure of players like Robinho will strongly discourage it.

Also, although slightly small in newsworthiness, is the fact that Sol Campbell is back with Arsenal after 3 and a half seasons (or so, I think…). Although this is a landmark occurance as it is the first time Wenger has re-signed a player he has let go, an honour not even Patrick Viera can claim, it has been an open secret in football for months. Since the Notts County Experiment came to a shuddering halt and Sol left after one game, he made it clear lower league football or MLS (sorry, Senior Elevation) wasn’t really of interest to him. He has been training with Arsenal to keep his fitness up and so it is a natural step he returns to the club to offer some much needed experience and leadership to a young team.

I bet you $50 that less than half of the people who clicked on this page are still reading

To quote the prophet Springer, now time for my final thought.

At my day job, as unfortunately I don’t just hang around Elevation HQ drinking beer and playing some serious MW2 the whole time (or at all…), I cover an awful lot of gambling news stories. Three this year alone have caught my eye for all the wrong reasons.

1)      The Chinese Football Association head being questioned over corruption, and investigators saying that if they punished everyone involved with soccer corruption then it would put the country’s football industry out of business.

2)      Gilbert Arenas and Javaris Critterton pulling guns on each other over a poker debt.

3)      Wolves calling in not one but two gambling addiction experts to work with their squad.

Now, I’m not one of these sorts who harp on about the evils of wealth. I love money. If I had a chance, I’d have all the money I could get my grubby little mits on. I enjoy being able to buy shit, go places and do stuff. I would very much like a new car, a new house, three more holidays a year and trophy wife. However, I sadly only have just about enough to live on.

*plays world’s smallest violin*

Anyway, you know who does have an awful lot of money? Footballers. And not just the £75k a week sorts. What people don’t quite realise is just how much money athletes have. A few years ago, I was working in the marketing department for an investment property firm and one of the sales guys ran into our little corner of the office that was full of Spongebob Squarepants posters and LolCats print offs (go into your marketing department at work and it will be very  much the same) absolutely over the moon because he had gotten a sales meeting with a League 1 footballing side. We all looked at him a little bit sideways, until he pointed the following out.

Even in League one, the 3^rd tier of English football, wages of £1,000 a week for squad players and £5,000+ a week for decent players are not uncommon. That is sweet FA when compared to Cristiano Ronaldo’s £200k a week or Rio Ferdinand’s £125k a week, but in the real world terms £5,000 is still an insane amount of money. That is a wage of £260,000 a year. Chuck on bonuses and players are realistically, even at that level, bringing in around £300,000 a year. Sure, that isn’t live-off-it-the-rest-of-your-life scratch, but you would be hard pushed to find a regular job where 21 – 34 year olds are paid £300k.

Anyway, I’ve gone off the point a bit. A lot of footballers have a lot of money is what I’m trying to say. And, despite the expectations placed upon them, footballers are human. Any human with a lot of disposable income does one of five things with it – drinks it, smokes it, snorts it, injects it, gambles it.

The first four of those aren’t exactly options for top calibre footballers, but the last one is. Like it or not, hush hush or not, football has a massive gambling culture attached. From the famous England national team ‘poker schools’ to players and managers owning race horses, injured players sitting at home gambling all day to those who can’t stay away from the tables, it happens. Worryingly, an awful lot of players also bet on football.

I’m not attacking gambling here either – I love poker and blackjack, perhaps too much – but trying to make the following point. Currently, all these young guys who have more money than god and a playboy lifestyle. This can all too easily lead to corruption – as in the China case, or even Italian football as seen a few years back -, to to inter squad problems – as documented by Arenas and Critterton – or to addictions, as shown by the amount of gambling addiction specialists brought in by some clubs and the need for clinics like Sporting Chance in London, which does admirable work treating gambling addictions amongst pro athletes anonymously.

Finances in football are at a stage where even lower league players in major markets are amongst some of the highest paid of the population. I’m not saying that they should be prohibited from gambling, it is plain wrong to tell people how they should spend their money, but already this year I’ve seen three shocking sports gambling stories. Surely, it is time for FIFA\UEFA\The FA to start looking in to the gambling culture in their sport, not leaving it up to clubs and flimsy regulations like “Oh, yeah, offer them help if they need it.”

Until next time, take care of yourselves, and each other.

Alright folks the Elevation countdown plows ahead with the whole F’N show.

In case you missed my entry two spots below this one, The Elevation Countdown is an on-going effort by myself to rank the 20 best American wrestlers from 1990 to 2010. Their ranking is determined only by the things they did in the last 20 years, stuff from the 80s is not taken into account. Hopefully you can take a timeout from your Pro Bowl hysteria to read this entry:

DDP was #20. Here is #19:

RVD: The whole F'N show.

#19 Rob Van Dam

WCW: 1992   ECW: 1996-2001   WWE 1997 (part of ECW invasion angle), 2001-2007.

1 time ECW World Heavyweight Champion

1 time WWE Champion

6 time Intercontinental Champion

Everybody should be damn happy RVD came of age in the early 90s instead of the early 2000s. Due to his amazing athleticism and freaking strength, Rob Van Dam would have surely become an integral member of the UFC had he begun his combat training in 2000 instead of 1990. However, America lucked out and we were given the opportunity to lay eyes on one of the most exciting and entertaining wrestling performers of all time.

(Cue Mauro Ranallo blowhard voice) With his penchant for the Gange, current California residence, and incredible athleticism, is there any doubts that RVD would be rolling on the mats among other things with the Diaz brothers if he was a mixed martial artist in 2010?
In wrestling, RVD was able to succeed where many others failed and become an extremely interesting and viable character in two of the most different environments in recent wrestling history: the extreme, no holds barred, anything goes craziness of Paul Heyman’s ECW and the increasingly PG, cookie cutter infested, no blood at all world of the  late 2000s Vince McMahon run WWE.

It cannot be stressed enough how different these two eras were. In the original ECW, The Sandman used to smoke while he was wrestling, spill beer all over himself and the fans and get literally crucified by the ring. In the new WWE, The Sandman couldn’t even come out to a real version of Metallica’s “Enter Sandman”, had to stop drinking beer during his entrance because of a lawsuit from a fan, and made his first appearance on the new WWE run ECW brand by attacking a Zombie with his cane.

RVD was able to take part in amazing rivalries with a huge palette of super stars from Sabu to John Cena to Rhyno to Edge to Lance Storm to Randy Orton.

RVD also revolutionized the concept of pointing to your shoulders while convincing the fans to chant your initials. That is really a lost skill. Besides being a genius at getting himself over through things like working on the mic and creating cool arm gestures, RVD will always be remembered for his amazing move set.

The Five Star Frog Splash, The Van Daminator, The Van Terminator, Air Van Dam, The Chair surfboard. How crazy is that? Now-a-days our wrestlers are treated like visionaries if they are able to create such masterpieces as the 5 knuckle shuffle or the DDT using the ring ropes.

RVD winning the title against John Cena at One Night Stand 2006 was one of the biggest moments in wrestling from the past two decades. Beyond being an amazing match, it directly helped lead to the birth of the new ECW brand on SyFy and was one of the greatest moments of RVD’s career. He was also a tag team specialist and had memorable tag title reigns in ECW and WWE with Chris Candido, Sabu, Kane, and Booker T.

Some fans will choose to only remember RVD only for his unsurprising marijuana arrest in the car with Sabu while champion, but all wrestling fans who know what the hell they are talking about will remember Rob’s free spirit, amazing matches, and unmatched natural ability.

I’m sure he will pop up back in WWE or TNA at some point, but until then Mr. Monday Night will live on forever!

Mr. Monday Night during one of the greatest periods of his career.

(Late Note- I just completed watching the Royal Rumble. I was completely caught off guard by Edge’s win. I had just assumed it was a mere formality that HBK, Cena, or Hunter would win the damn thing and that would be that. Edge’s return was a huge surprise and really enjoyable. I don’t know how the WWE is going to get to Wrestle Mania 26, but it is shaping up to be an awesome show. He looked really good despite coming back so quickly from a gruesome torn achilles. YOU THOUGHT YOU KNEW HIM! On a related note, I was cracking up laughing because my entry in a Royal Rumble pool I was a part of just happened to be Beth Phoenix. Beth wasn’t as dominant as Mrs. Cyborg at the Strikeforce show last night, but she did eliminate The Great Khali. However, she also had to take a brutal GTS from CM Punk. Can’t win ‘em all I guess.)

You will never be able to outsmart the master of mental chess.

We will be back soon with #18.

(Please enjoy the latest version of the Berlin chronicles from our friend Pete who lives in East Berlin. Play this music from Peter’s German friend as you read this article.)

Ah yes, the Christmas break has come and gone, and my residence in East Germany is back to its old and depressing state.  No more markets, no more lights and candles, no more wreaths, nothing.  About the only thing a good Catholic like myself can look forward to is Lent, in which we give something up to be closer to God, like chocolate or McDonald’s.  Of course we don’t understand why not eating M&Ms or Big Macs makes us better Christians, but hey, if Jesus can survive in the desert for 40 days, I can avoid the golden arches.

However, in all of Germany there is one beacon of hope shining brighter than anything on the horizon, and that my friends, is the start of the second half of the Bundesliga.  It seems to me that the major sports in America could take a really good lesson from this break.  The players get a month and a half off from major competitions during the holidays (granted there are scrimmages and practices), and then for the fans it’s like finding an un-opened Christmas present about a month late in January.  And if you ask me, the fact that we can look forward to soccer being played again for the next 18 weeks is even better than Ralphie getting a Red Rider BeeBee gun (with a built in compass!!).

Yes, the season has arrived, and one can see all throughout the country that kids to adults are discussing the fall champion, which is basically the team with the most points at the end of the first half, and whether or not they will be able to hold on for the rest of the season to first place.  What does it mean to be fall champion?  Well, nothing.  For example, last year’s “Herbstmeister” was Hoffenheim.  The young squad freshly promoted to the 1. Bundesliga and looking to become only the second team ever to be promoted one year and then win the title the next.  However, the talented Hoffenheimer’s offense cooled off, and their average at best defense was unable to keep them afloat throughout the second half of the season, keeping F.C. Kaiserslautern’s record of promotion to title a one man show.  Hoffenheim’s fall from power is nothing new, however, as it can often seem that the fall champion has too much pressure with a constant target on its back, as if everyone believes they are going to be caught eventually.

We see this in American sports too.  I know I have personally seen my Detroit Tigers fall from grace in the American League Central or God knows how many times it seems the New York Yankees seem to pour the pressure on the Red Sox for the AL East playoff spot after the All-Star Break.  I believe this year both the Broncos and Giants started very strong in their respective seasons, only to completely trip and fall flat on their face once halfway into the NFL Season.  So, I want to partially caution those who have only followed the Bundesliga maybe this year or only for a couple seasons that if you are a Bayer Leverkusen fan, do not start betting your life savings that this is your year.  That being said, let’s look at the teams at the top, the teams at the bottom, a few surprises in the middle, and maybe what they all can do to hold the first spot, to rise above, or maybe just to stay in the first league!

Bayer Leverkusen celebrating with their sweet mascot.

1. Bayer Leverkusen 04, Place: 1. Bayer Leverkusen, the team without a town in many ways.  The name, Bayer, is world renowned for its medicine, and it is no wonder where the squad gets its money from in order to field great players both in the past and present.  However, due to the small size of Leverkusen combined with the much greater size of the bigger cities in the area, the team never really has a massive following.  In addition, the boys from Leverkusen seem to always fall short towards the end of the season, stumbling to a second, third, or fourth place finish.  The boys from Leverkusen have simply been completely outgunning their competition with a goal differential of +22 (35 for /15 against), the best in the league.  Having one of the two German national team keepers does not hurt either as Adler has performed wonderfully.  The young gun on loan from Bayern, Kroos, has looked phenomenal this season so far, and he, along with scoring machine Kießling, are looking to smooth out those end of the season bumps and earn Leverkusen a Bundesliga title.
2. FC Schalke 04, Place:  2. FC Schalke, also probably my least favorite team in the Bundesliga next to Bayern, has seen a rise in the level of play from their top forward, Mr. Kevin Kuranyi.  This year he has cut off his awful hair and surprisingly, along with his lisp and terrible facial hair, he is not so bad to watch on the pitch anymore.  He has already tailed 10 goals and 3 assists, maybe looking to avenge his stumbles over the past couple seasons.  Schalke’s coach, the legend Felix Magath, has to be one of the key reasons for this team’s success so far.  He has brought the winning formula from Wolfsburg and it looks like all his players are singing and humming his tune perfectly.  If Schalke stays tough, look for Leverkusen to begin to slip as the blue boys out of Gelsenkirchen rise to the top.
3. FC Bayern, Place: 3. FC Bayern, the class of the league (they certainly pay enough for it) has found its stride going into the second half of the season.  A lack luster performance from the back line, a drama between new Dutch Coach Van Gaal and the Italian striker Luca Toni, and a handful of injuries including Ribery and Robben had made Bayern look more than fragile at the beginning.  Top forwards Olic and Gomez have filled their scoring shoes, however, and kept Germany’s most well known club afloat during much of the season.  The perennial power has risen to the top again and with Ribery almost fully recovered and Toni shipped off to Italy, the Bavarian squad simply needs to keep on pace for another run at the German title.
4. Hamburger Sport Verein (HSV), Place: 4. The Hamburger Sport Verein (HSV) has shown glimpses of both greatness and weakness in the first half of the season.  Thanks to strong play from Zé Roberto and the Croatian Petric, the club has held strong to the upper ranks of the league.  No doubt the arrival of Ruud Van “the Man” Nistelrooy is going to stir things up for the club from the north.  Buying a strong Dutchman has worked in the past for the Hamburger and they believe that V. Nistelrooy still has a couple good seasons left in him, as they will be relying on him heavily to keep up a steady amount of scoring for a push towards the number one spot.  I do not know how much I buy into this purchase as a great solution, but it is definitely going to put a lot more eyes on Hamburg this season.

Another Dutchman who speaks German, it’s like they used to be the same country!

1. VfL Wolfsburg, Place:  8. Wolfsburg, and how the champions have fallen.  Just this week the coach of the squad, Armin Veh, was let go as the “Wolfe” are looking for a new strategy.  The green squad best known for their duo of Bosnians, Dzeko and Misimovic, needs answers and needs them fast.  Currently sitting in 10^th place, they are going to need to learn some consistency if they have any hope of making the UEFA cup qualification spot.  This team, although it has underperformed, is not to be underestimated in the least.  Look for the new coach to stir up the defense, focus on some system fundamentals, and get this championship squad back on track.
2. 1.F.C Cologne, Place: 12. 1. F.C Cologne needs to be in the discussion every time because this year is the “Return of the Prince”.  Prince Podolski that is.  Although he has had some assists and even a goal himself, the German national team striker has simply not amassed the production that the fans, and this writer, had hoped.  Cologne ended the first half of the season on a great note, defeating Nuremberg 3:0 at home, and in the past week beat last year’s champions Wolfsburg 3:2.  They are near the bottom of point production among all teams, which is a mystery given the two former 2. Bundesliga goal “kings” (the king is the player who scores the most goals in the league for a season).   Although I have no fear of them being relegated, unless some consistency in offensive production is found, the “Kölner” and their new head coach Saldo are going to have to rethink how Podolski can better be used.
3. VfbStuttgart, Place:  15^th. Stuttgart has been in a mess the entire season.  Up until recently the normally strong Schwäbisch squad was in the relegation zone, and with very little signs of life that they would get out.  They remain in the bottom pack, and I recall even Frank Beckenbauer commenting on a Sky Sports review show that, “he does not understand how a talented team can make so many mistakes and not get the job done.”  Thank you Kaizer.  I only add the facts, this team has underperformed not so much against the top level players, but with the middle to bottom dwellers.  They are in serious need of motivation when it comes to playing the lower tier.
4. Hannover 96, Place: 14. Hannover 96 experienced a great loss this year losing their starting keeper, captain, and leader Robert Enke.  Since the tragic event, the team’s mediocre season has had nothing but a steady downhill path.  They are currently lying in the relegation zone with more questions than answers.  The entire team, from goalie, defenders, midfielders, strikers and even the coaching staff needs to find a way to get this squad, who is undoubtedly closer off the field, more focused on the field.   Although I cannot imagine the heavy loss and burden that is likely still fresh in the minds of this team, Hannover would do Mr. Enke a great tribute by fighting hard and staying in the first league.  I do not believe that this team lacks the physical capability, but I do question its mental strength going through this second half.
5. 1. F.C Nuremberg, Place: 17. My beloved F.C. Nuremberg is currently sitting quite alone in the second to last position, and although the relegation zone is expected by the experts, it has been a joy to watch the young star Abert Bujanku play this season.  He has already cashed in 9 goals for a club that is not on the scoreboard too much, and he gives hope to “Club” fans every time he touches the ball.  With the exit of Peer Kluge to Schalke and a widening gap between staying in the first league and dropping back down, FCN will need to pick up single points against all the big boys it can, and have decisive victories over key components battle in the relegation area, such as Berlin, Stuttgart, and Hannover.
6. Hertha Berlin, Place: 18. Last, and yes least, is the capital’s own squad Hertha Berlin.  The team with the DB on its chest has found only a total of 10 points even up until last week, grabbing a tie against M’gladbach.  The Berliner showed signs of life winning their first game in the second half and then adding one point last week, but let us not forget that Hertha BSC won its first game of the fall season as well.  Frankly, I have no idea and I do not believe anyone who says they have an idea of what will happen to this squad at the end of the season, but it just depends on which team shows up on game day.  This is a group of players that did so well last year right up until the very end, and this year has looked like shadow of its former self.  The Jury is out and will continue to be for the next few weeks, so best keep watching.

Well there you have it, my round up of 10 squads, their position at the turn, what has happened so far, and maybe a few ideas of what could happen.  I have no crystal ball so I really do not know what is going to happen, but even if I could, I think I would rather just wait and watch it unfold.  Be back in a few weeks, and if you want me to write up a short summary, in case I did not already, of your team’s first half review, chances, and my own thoughts to what they need to do, just leave it in the comments.  As for now, I have to pretend to be a student again.  Peace!

Hey everybody. Elevation’s Picks:

Colts 27   Jets 14
Vikes 35  Saints 21

See more verticaly striped stuff at www.verticallystripedsocks.com

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This is officially the home stretch. Only two games this weekend, and the winners go to the big game with the Roman numbering system. This is the most painful weekend to lose, because ultimately you’re forgotten, but the sting of losing hurts the most when you were thisclose to making the Super Bowl. So clearly, a lot is at stake here. This is one of my favorite weekends of the sporting calendar, as the games are so important, and often they are very good. Hopefully we get two good games, but I’m doubtful, as the Jets are prominently involved in one. I don’t know what it is about Gang Green, but whenever the Jets play, the games take on a sloppy, sticky feel, as if the entire football game has been doused with maple syrup or something. I want the Jets to win because the underdog story is fun, but the Super Bowl will be better if the Colts are involved. As for the NFC, no matter who wins, we should get a good Super Bowl rep, so hopefully that means the Saints…because, well, Brett Favre. Here are the results that I divined from my clearly cloudy crystal ball:

New York Jets at Indianapolis: Is anyone else struck by how ridiculous it is that the New York Jets are one of the last four teams still playing? This team has certainly has been lucky, having the last five field goals attempted against them all be missed is bizarre, and the fact that they weren’t down by twenty at halftime against the Chargers is crazy…they were getting destroyed in that game, only the Chargers somehow kept getting just stopped by the Jets. I guess that’s the whole point of playing defense, but some serious luck was involved.

Well, the luck ends this weekend. Matt Sanchez has not been playing all that well, perhaps you can win one game or maybe rarely even two with a subpar quarterback, but I don’t think you can win a championship with a quarterback who was widely considered to have potential that he has clearly not yet reached. The defense is good, and the running game has been solid, but if the Jets are somehow able to win, they might be the weakest team to ever reach the Super Bowl.

Contrast the Jets with a team that hasn’t lost a game in which they clearly tried to win since last year’s playoffs. The Colts are strong, Peyton Manning is one of the best quarterbacks of all time, and the Colts suffocated a team from Baltimore last week that is the mirror image of the Jets. The Ravens had a questionable quarterback, a great running game, and a strong swarming defense…and they lost 20-3. The Jets are in for a similar fate.

I’m cheering for New York, because Rex Ryan is terribly interesting and who doesn’t like a fat boisterous coach. Plus the idea of the chaos that would ensue as the Jets faithful try to figure out a world where their team is actually in the Super Bowl appeals to me…we could potentially see some Jets fans heads explode with confusion. Sadly, I don’t think it’s meant to be. Not even close. Colts 33 Jets 13

Minnesota at New Orleans: This game to me is a coin flip, and is there any doubt that this game is the more anticipated contest of the weekend? Although both of these teams kind of stumbled to the finish in the regular season, the idea that the momentum you bring to the playoffs took a major hit last week, as despite both teams bringing very little “Mo” into their first postseason contests, they both dispatched their first round foes with ease. The Vikings throttled the Cowboys, and the Saints easily eliminated the Cardinals. So now, unlike the AFC, the two teams in the NFC that looked like the class of the Conference for the lion share of the regular season will be battling for the NFC spot in XLIV, which is how it should be.

The Vikings defensive line is scary when it gets rolling, and they were rolling against Tony Romo and the Cowboys last week. The Saints offense will rely on Drew Brees making quick smart decisions, which he is pretty good at doing. The Vikings offense also looked good, although Adrian Peterson has not been quite as good as advertised this year. Of course, he was advertised as making blind men see and turning water into wine…so he may have been slightly over-hyped.

Long time readers will know that I have a dislike of Brett Favre, so that clearly colors my Vikings predictions. I don’t want the Vikes winning, and that is only because of Brett. The franchise has great and long-suffering fans who have lost four Super Bowls and deserve their share of happiness, but I just don’t want that happiness to be delivered by Favre. The Saints have never been any further than they are right now, and it would be fun to see the people of New Orleans relish in a Super Bowl. They would certainly celebrate appropriately…especially since I get the impression that the Saints mean just a little bit more than they should to the city. (A fact which I really enjoy and endears Saints fans to me, by the way.) This game is very close, I could see it going in any direction. I can see either team winning by blowout, and I can see either team winning a close game. I’m hoping for the close game, since there have been precious few of those in this postseason, and I have a feeling the early game will continue the tradition of crappy postseason football this year. Since I have no feel for who will win, but I have a definite rooting interest, I’m going to go with my heart. Saints 31 Vikings 28

My Picks Scorecard:

Last Week: 2-2
Regular Season: 161-95
Playoffs: 4-4
Playoffs Against the Spread: 3-5
Year to Date: 165-99

Welcome back to the Edge everybody. Before we get waist deep in everything, I want to offer my support to all the folks dealing with great difficulty right now in Haiti. The Hope for Haiti telethon was held on television tonight and had some good performances by the likes of Bruce Springsteen, and the trio of Keith Urban, Kid Rock, and Sheryl Crow. I can’t say the same for my beloved Bono. The combination of Bono and The Edge with Jay-Z and Rihanna = no buys. However, all their hearts were definitely in the right place. I encourage all of you to make a donation of some sort to help out our poor brothers and sisters to the South.

Send a few bucks along to help our poor pals in Haiti.

I personally used The Clinton-Bush Haiti fund as an  avenue to send a few bucks along. Their website accepts PayPal and its really easy.  You know that your donation will be used in a serious, helpful way with two Presidents leading the initiative. This fund was also extremely helpful in collecting relief aid for the Tsunami and Katrina victims.

Please visit: http://clintonbushhaitifund.org/

Like The Boss said tonight, “We shall overcome.”

That goes for you too Conan. Your final Tonight Show entertained the hell out of America. I’ve loved watching you for as long as I can remember, and you’ll knock ‘em dead wherever you land. The Free Bird final number with Beck, Will Ferrell, and Billy Gibbons was beyond surreal and extremely entertaining to watch.  On the other hand, Charlie Manson is more beloved in American right now than the long chinned jackass Jay Leno. For the love of God people, don’t watch Leno when he returns to the Tonight Show. He has less moral fiber than the Alien from Alien.

We all are.

And now for something completely different.

After watching TNA and WWE the past few weeks and seeing guys like Bret Hall, Hulk Hogan, Ric Flair, and Scott Hall stalk our televisions like its 1996, I have decided to create a little concept here at The Outsiders Edge that I will hopefully stick to for the next few months.

I have decided that for the next 20 weeks I will be doing a countdown of the 20 greatest wrestlers from the last 20 years. Now before a few of you purists start sending me angry e-mails like “You moron, where the hell is Misawa?!” or “Add Mistico or I will kill you!”, this countdown will only include American based performers who wrestled in WWE, WCW, ECW, or TNA.

Also this list only counts for performances from 1990 through 2010. Although Terry Funk, Ricky Steamboat and many other top legends from older decades performed in the 90s, they can only make this list for their in ring actions between 1990 and 2010. Lou Thesz was obviously bigger than Mick Foley in wrestling history, but Lou retired in 1990.
With that out of the way, I am proud to present number 20 on our list:

Self High Five

That’s right baby #20 from the last 20- Mr. Diamond Dallas Page

(Since 1990)  WCW: 1991-2001 / WWE: 2001-2002/ TNA: 2004-2005.

3 Time World  WCW Heavyweight Champion.

Who better to start our countdown than DDP?  Despite getting his start in wrestling at a very late age, DDP proved that hard work and amazing physical conditioning can defeat the perils of aging. For better or worse Diamond Dallas Page was one of the endearing faces of WCW. He was an expert at creating a unique brand all to himself (Diamond Cutter hand sign.) and for having an awesome finishing move. (The Diamond Cutter always looked way cooler than the RKO.)

People will remember his notable WCW feuds with many of the top guys in the company including Scott Hall, Randy Savage, Goldberg, and Hulk Hogan. His great Halloween Havoc 1998 match was completely overshadowed by the trainwreck that was the Hogan-Warrior main event at that same show (if we were doing a worst 20 wrestlers of the last 20 years list, Ultimate Warrior would be like the anti-Rock.)

With his foxy wife, sweet Smells like Teen Spirit entrance music, and ultra positive attitude, DDP emanated an attitude of coolness that few wrestlers have been able to give off.

Some people have complained that DDP’s matches were too formulaic and seemed too rehearsed, but I disagree. I always loved watching him and felt that his incredible natural charisma and tremendous drive helped overshadow any of those criticisms.

DDP also reached huge mainstream popularity in 1998 when he teamed up with Karl Malone to take on the team of Dennis Rodman and Hulk Hogan at Bash at the Beach 1998.  He followed that up by teaming up with Jay Leno to defeat Hogan and Eric Bischoff at Road Wild. He was also the main villain in the WCW centered movie “Ready to Rumble.” Unfortunately that movie led to David Arquette being WCW World champion. That was a bad thing.

His WWE and TNA runs were mostly forgettable due to political circumstances he could not control. He could have made huge money for the WWE had they handled The Invasion angle properly. A long-term feud with either the Rock or Austin would have done massive business for Vince McMahon. However, his Positively Page gimmick was extremely entertaining and his “That’s not a bad thing…it’s a good thing” lives on to this day in dozens of messages sent between former Edge co-founder SJX and myself.

All in all, Diamond Dallas Page was one of the most over performers in a period where WCW was the biggest wrestling company on the world. He was criticized by some, but DDP will never be forgotten.

DDP forever baby! Everoyne give yourself a self high five.

Alright everybody stay tuned for #19.

Arizona at New Orleans – (Sportsbook.com Line: Saints by 7) When you think of the Saints, you think of scoreboards that spin like they are part of a pinball machine, high powered offense running teams off of the field, and that is what they were, but what will be interesting to see is whether or not they can get the Ferrari revved up again after playing like the past month didn’t even matter. (To be fair, it didn’t.) There is bound to be a little rust on the Saints, and they are going up against an team that dropped 51 on a solid Packers team last weekend. Yes, Kurt Warner qualifies for the Senior discount at McDonalds, but while he may be old, he is certainly not rusty. He played one of the more outstanding games I can remember any quarterback having against Green Bay, and if any team has the firepower to match the Saints…it’s Arizona. This game seems much closer to me than the point spread of a touchdown in favor of the Saints would indicate. I’m going to give a slight nod to the Saints, but I will not be surprised in the least if Arizona finds a way to win this game. I’m going to predict that the Cards keep it close, but fall just short of the home team in a game that is lower scoring than most expect. Saints 27 Cardinals 24

Baltimore at Indianapolis – (Sportsbook.com Line: Colts by 6.5) On March 29th, 1984 the Colts abandoned Baltimore in the middle of the night bound for Indianapolis because they feared that the State of Maryland would pass a bill allowing the state to seize control of the team from owner Robert Irsay declaring eminent domain. The city of Baltimore was left without an NFL franchise for 11 years, and to this day if Baltimore residents learn that your last name is Irsay there is a slight chance that you’ll take a beating. Now, of course, that story is ancient history, and many of the players who will play in the game on Sunday weren’t even alive yet; but you know the fans who had the Colts ripped from them would take an extra measure of pleasure in eliminating the Colts in their first postseason game.

The Ravens are a strange team, early in the season their defense looked suspect, but Joe Flacco was running an offense that was firing, and they were winning. The aging defense has since put it together pretty well, and against the Patriots on Sunday, they looked like world beaters. However, Joe Flacco completed only four passes on the day. The Patriots couldn’t stop Ray Rice and Willis McGahee, so the Ravens decided that they wouldn’t even bother throwing the ball. Baltimore was staked to a large early lead, and pretty much coasted to the finish in Foxborough. The Ravens are good, but they will probably need Flacco to look like a legitimate NFL QB this weekend, and I don’t know if he can do that right now, which is going to make it tough on Baltimore.

The Colts lost their last two regular season games, which were entirely meaningless to them and to be fair they barely put forth any effort at all. Much like the Saints, we will see whether or not that rest is going to be a problem for the Colts or not. I think they may struggle a little bit early, but I just keep looking at the quarterback matchup and I can’t see Flacco outdueling Manning. That huge disadvantage for the Ravens is enough to make me think that the Ravens just aren’t going to be able to win. Colts 27 Ravens 14

Dallas at Minnesota – (Sportsbook.com Line: Vikings by 2.5) The Cowboys are rolling, Minnesota limped into the playoffs, Brett Favre has a recent history of falling apart in the late season and playoffs. The Vikings offensive line has been dreadful over the past month and a half, Adrian Peterson is a stud, but even he has had some struggles recently. The Vikings strike me as the stereotypical bye team that flops out of the playoffs in their first game. Tony Romo has been great lately, the Cowboys defense is playing at a ridiculously high level and despite the fact that Wade Phillips and his elastic neck skin will be coaching the Cowboys, I think Dallas advances on to the Conference Championship.

By the way, I have a huge grudge against Brett Favre, so all of my Vikings predictions need to be looked at through that prism. I let my disgust with Favre color my predictions, so if the Vikings slaughter Dallas…I’m blaming Brett Favre for clouding my vision. I’m blatantly and loudly cheering for the Dallas Cowboys…especially since they helped me win a bet last weekend. (The bet was for pride and avatar power, not for money, but I was still very pleased that they won.) Cowboys 33 Vikings 30

New York Jets at San Diego – (Sportsbook.com Line: Chargers by 7) – I do think the Chargers win at home against the Jets, but there are a few red flags for their playoff opener. The Chargers were 20th in the league against the run, and they are going up against the top ranked rushing offense in the league this season. Plus, the Jets had the top rated pass defense in the whole league, and all the Chargers do is pass. San Diego’s running game was ranked 31st in the league this year. The Jets strengths matchup pretty well against the Chargers, which makes the Jets far from the ideal matchup for San Diego, but I think their overall talent level is high enough to carry San Diego to a win. Plus, Mark Sanchez is going to need to complete more than the 12 passes he completed against the Bengals to carry the Jets past the Chargers. I just don’t know if he has it in him. Chargers 38 Jets 19

My Picks Scorecard:

Last Week: 2-2
Regular Season: 161-95
Playoffs: 2-2
Playoffs Against the Spread: 2-2
Year to Date: 163-97

Preview comes courtesy of our friend Craig Dodge who can be found at www.verticallystripedsocks.com Go check out his pictures of strangers on trains. He lives in Denver. What better reason to break out a little John Denver (evil laugh) – Elevation.

New York Jets at Cincinnati – (Sportsbook.com Line: Bengals by 2.5) I feel like Vizzini in the “Princess Bride” trying to discern whether the Jets or the Bengals contain the Iocane powder. “On one hand, the Jets have a rookie quarterback and got lucky with the schedule or else they would never have made the playoffs, So I can clearly not choose the Jets in front of me. On the other hand, the Jets have a ton of confidence after just lambasting the Bengals only days ago, so I can clearly not choose the Bengals in front of you. Of course, only a great fool chooses a rookie quarterback on the road in the playoffs, I am not a great fool, so I clearly cannot choose the Jets in front of me!” Cue the Man in Black, “So you’ve made your decision then?” Me: “Not remotely! Because the Bengals come from Cincinnati, as everyone knows, the Cincinnati Bengals are entirely populated with criminals. And criminals are used to having people not trust them, as the Bengals are not trusted by me. So clearly, I cannot select the Bengals in front of you! (Truly I have a dizzying intellect.) If you think I’m just stalling right now, you’re absolutely right, although I don’t think that the teams are going to give anything away in the next few days leading up to this game so I choose…“What in the world can that be!” Okay, so I am clueless on this game. I have no feel at all for what I think is going to happen in this game but I’m taking New York. Truth be told, I hate both of these teams, and I’m playing the Jets on a slight hunch. Although, I suspect that the Bengals and the Jets both contain Iocane Powder. Jets 17 Bengals 14

Baltimore at New England – (Sportsbook.com Line: Patriots by 3) No Wes Welker, a Tom Brady who is not completely healthy, a Randy Moss who may or may not care, a Bill Belichick that has been roundly criticized for being unorthodox…it feels like the Pats are ripe for an upset. The Ravens played them close earlier this year in New England, and surely Ray Lewis and company are not going to be intimidated going North into that environment. This FEELS like a game that the Ravens could pull out. However, I just have a gut feeling that the Pats are going to make a little bit of noise this postseason. It feels like a game the Ravens could win, but won’t due to their propensity to do stupid things. Plus, as sketchy as the Patriots have looked away from Foxborough (their only road wins this season were against the Bills and the Buccaneers, and the Bucs game was a neutral site) it is worth noting that they are undefeated in Massachusetts. The very human Pats still have enough magic to win a first round game and I think they will. Patriots 23 Ravens 13

Philadelphia at Dallas – (Sportsbook.com Line: Cowboys by 4) The Eagles had everything to play for this past Sunday in Dallas, had they defeated the Cowboys they would have earned the 2nd seed and a bye in the NFC. With everything to play for, they still got waxed 24-0.The Cowboys throttled them in every way, and while clearly the Eagles had a bad game…perhaps their hot finish was more of a mirage than an actual impressive streak. In their late season six game win streak they beat a bunch of teams that were either sorry teams all year or who were slumping to the finish. The Bears, Falcons, Redskins, Giants, 49ers and Broncos were not impressing anyone late in the year, and so I feel like the Eagles are somewhat of a paper tiger. The Cowboys have already taken down the Eagles twice this season, and I see no reason why they don’t do it a third time. The Cowboys finished with a three game win streak against the Saints, Redskins and Eagles…a more impressive set of victories than the Eagles to be sure. Tony Romo has caught fire, and the Cowboys just seem ready to finally win their first playoff game since 1996. Cowboys 37 Eagles 20

Green Bay at Arizona – (Sportsbook.com Line: Pick) This is the third game of the first round that is a rematch of the final game of the season. The Packers absolutely destroyed the Cardinals 33-7 on Sunday, but unlike the Eagles who had something to play for, Arizona was locked in to their position, and had zero reason to put forth an effort. They played an extremely vanilla game, and I think that there is every reason to believe that this contest will be much more competitive. Kurt Warner should play longer than just the first quarter, and I feel like Arizona is going to try this time…call it a hunch. However, even though I think the game will be much more competitive, I still think the end result will be the same. Aaron Rodgers is rolling, the defense has been pretty good lately except for one game in Pittsburgh, and I just feel like Green Bay is primed to move on. The Cardinals had their insane run last year, and I don’t think lightning strikes twice in two years in the NFC. The fact that I picked the Packers to win it all doesn’t hurt either when it comes to my final prediction. Random thought while picking this game: Pack or Cards sounds an awful lot like Pack of Cards…I have no idea what that means, though. Packers 30 Cardinals 23

Read more or less of Ben Halls @ http://thebenhallsblog.blogspot.com/

I think that I’m still drunk and full of unneeded food from the whole festive period. I mean, I know that the Christmas\New Years celebration season is meant to be a bit of a time of excess, but frankly this year it was utterly ridiculous. I’m not sure if it is a sign of the times or what, but seemingly both myself and pretty much everyone else I know just said ‘You know what, to hell with it’ and let loose a bit more than usual. End result is I am still in quite a bad way, and I do not regret a damned thing.

“Gluttony has never been more brilliant or erotic”

There was no point to that segway whatsoever, by the way. I just felt that I had to let you know. Anyway, to business?

The Top Of The Tree

Although I think I may have been a little on the quick side to anoint Chelsea as Champions-elect before Christmas, I’m still standing by them. This is despite coming at a time when the Blues are dropping points like they are going out of fashion and have some top players about to depart for the African Cup of Nations. I still think they have that edge on everyone else.

This is where succesful people live, and who can blame them?

I still think United are one more season away from being back to where they were and I don’t like the fact that Arsenal have neither Fabregas nor van Persie fit. Due to Arsenal’s stupidly good system, they are able to just fling players in at the last minute to any position and have a workable solution, but if I were a Gunner I’d be full of self loathing as well as feeling a lot more comfortable having at least one of the club’s two marquee players in the team. Nasri, Arshavin and Walcott are all more than capable young lads, but for me van Persie and Fabregas are needed, just like Liverpool thrive with Gerrard or Torres in the team.

Credit to them, though, Arsenal do have a game in hand on United. Assuming they win it, they would leapfrog United into second place. However, there is just something about Arsenal this year where they cannot decide for love nor money if they are a dominant top team or a wobbly group of nearly guys. Looking back at their results, they beat a good team like Spurs then collapse to a draw against West Ham. They beat Liverpool then can’t beat Burnley. When you sit down and watch Arsenal play, they either knock in 5 goals and look like Brazil or they get shut out and look like a group of guys trying to over complicate the matter. They are looking much more like the former these days, as their points tally proves, but my own personal jury is still out on them.

Elsewhere at the top, United are still on everyone’s radar, just 2 points off the top. All the pundits are back tracking on their early season gloom and doom and saying that United are finally ‘hitting their stride’. That being said, they still look like they are lacking a creative spark and have been absolutely taken-from-behind-in-a-dark-alley-and-ravaged by defensive injuries.

I suppose in my heart of hearts, after seeing all the teams play, I still see this ending Chelsea, Man Utd then Arsenal up top. And this comes from a United fan, by the way. Chelsea are just that little bit better than everyone else overall at the moment. And I can’t help but favour United over Arsenal for second. There are strong arguments for both, but I’m not convinced how Arsenal will cope without their two bestest players.

In the best of the rest contest, I still like Spurs over Villa, Man City and Liverpool. Liverpool are in a world of trouble and Villa are prone to late season slumps. Man City, though, with a new boss (more on that later) could well start winning the sorts of games that they drew before and be more dangerous.

Down Below, Where The Sun Don’t Shine

You can’t but ‘underneath the Christmas Tree’ for a relegation battle section, you know? Because that is where presents are kept, and presents are very, very good. These teams, however, are very, very bad.

Portsmouth…. oh god, we will give them their own little section in a minute. I can’t bear to write about them yet. It depresses me.

With Pompey all but certain to be gone from the Premiership, that leaves two slots available for other, less deserving clubs to share the same fate. I’m still standing by my early season picks of Portsmouth, Hull and Wolves to get the chop, but that is just me being stubborn. On a more analytical note, you want to see something cool? Alright, watch this…

The battle for 4^th place and the last Champions League spot is a straight shoot out between 5 teams seperated by 5 points – Spurs (37), Man City (35), Aston Villa (35), Liverpool (33) and Birmingham (32). Yeah, I know, I included Birmingham in that. If someone had said Birmingham in the Champions League discussion at the start of the season I’d have pointed and laughed as well, but they are 5 points off the pace and have a £40m transfer kitty. You sort of have to include them.

Anyway, if we take the same 5 point gap theory at the bottom of the table then every other team except Fulham is in the relegation battle. That’s right, have a look at the Premiership table and you will see that 9 teams are within two mistimed losses from tumbling out. Obviously, it isn’t that cut and dried but each and every one of those 9 teams is more than capable of such a collapse.

I said long ago that this stage of the season is just a land grab as teams try to stay afloat, so in the next 8 or 9 games I expect more than a few of those sides (Sunderland, Everton, Blackburn namely) to remove themselves from the relegation conversation. Right now, though, they are in it. The bottom of the table is just as interesting as the top, and right now there are no clear losers.

Well, that is a general overview taken care of. Lets have a little look at what else is going on, shall we?

African Cup Of Nations (aka How The Premiership Was Lost)

Didier Drogba. Michael Essien. Kanu. Toure. Adebayor. Song. Eboue. Yobo. Shittu. Bikey.

No, I am not just listing names here. These are all players who won’t feature for Premiership outfits at the beginning of 2010. Why? Because of the sodding African Cup Of Nations.

Its a wonder the whole continent doesn't get a headache looking at that stupid ball.

Like it or lump it, the African Cup of Nations falls in January instead of in the off-season. This means that a lot of teams lose valuable players. On a side note, it also happens every 2 years which is just ridiculous. Major international tournaments happen every 4 years. However, Africa didn’t get that particular memo it appears.

Up top of the table, Chelsea are the most hurt by this tournament – Didier Drogba, Michael Essien, Salomon Kalou and John Obi Mikel are all gone. At a time when they are dropping points and have a few injuries (most notably to Anelka, leaving them with no fit recognised strikers), that just sucks for them. I can see those losses, though, accelerating a few would-be summer transfers to this window. Down bottom, Portsmouth also loose four players, including their top league scorer Dindane. God knows they could do with all the help they can get.

There isn’t really a point of me mentioning this other than it is a current Premiership event and I feel somewhat compelled to. I mean, I have no opinion about it. If you are going to buy African players, you need to realise they are gone for this tournament. If you don’t realise this fact and then complain about it, then you are a dullard and deserve to be treated as such. You can’t ask these guys not to represent their country, so you have to just adapt.

Portsmouth Need To Be Put Out Of Their Misery

Portsmouth need to be put out of their misery. They need to be taken out back into the barn, given one last pat on the side and then be dealt with by the sort of tough love that only a heartbroken owner can understand. It’s time to tell the kids they have gone to another farm to live and then, before they can ask any difficult questions, give them a new action figure and whisk them off for a surprise trip to Disney Land.

DVD review of Portsmouth 2009/10 season.

From top to bottom, inside and out I have never known a more rotten Premiership organisation. Portsmouth, for already the third time this season, haven’t paid their squad their monthly salaries. They have an embargo on registering new players due to the outstanding debt they owe. Some clubs are threatening to begin very nasty legal proceedings to reclaim this money. Even the UK Government has a day in court with Portsmouth as they attempt to put them completely out of business over about $3m of unpaid taxes. In all likelihood, they will go into administration as a business and therefore have to take a 10 point reduction, sealing their fate.

What is worse is they have Avram Grant as manager. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the guy made his name managing in the 80’s and 90’s in Israel. That is hardly the multi-billion pound Premiership.

This is really, really sad for Pompey and their fans. I’m not even going to joke about it. Although I will joke about that fact that even Portsmouth can beat Liverpool….

Seeing any team in any sport fall into such a state is sad. I’m sure when Pompey fans had to see recently departed manager Harry Redknapp return to the city to accept a recognition award over their FA Cup win just a few years ago, they didn’t think it could get any worse. How wrong they were. Honestly, Al Davies could take over and it would be a marked improvement. Dan Snyder could organise a front office that would put this team at a metaphorical 8-8. Hell, I think their only hope is to put Vince McMahon in charge.

The Sackings Commence

Two more heads are on spikes down Management Alley – both Manchester City’s Mark Hughes and Bolton’s Gary Megson.

As for Megson, I both feel sorry for him and completely understand the decision. Although Bolton are firmly in the relegation battle, and are in the relegation zone, they have two games in hand on the rest of their bottom-of-the-table-buddies. They aren’t playing terrible football and an awful lot of their problems were caused when the fans turned against the management. Megson himself, in one of the emo moments which highlighted his last few games at the club, said that the fans never accepted him. I feel for the guy, as having rabid fan support is always more useful for a squad than any new player, coach or prostitute will ever be.

Maybe if I burn down the stadium, the people will love me.

That being said, Bolton are far from the club they were under the expert guidance of Sam Allardyce. His mixture of picking up veterans released from big clubs, somehow going after audacious signings successfully and finding a place for youth really worked. Megson’s rule has seen them still be far from a rotten club, but nowhere near where they were. His firing was one of those tough ones in the sporting world – you are doing okay under someone, but you want to be doing a whole lot better than just okay. Just look at Fulham – they were doing just okay, put Roy Hodgson in charge and all of a sudden were up, up and away.

Mark Hughes’ sacking was also thoroughly justified. He was never going to last with the new owners and basically all season long he has been doing a Jim Zorn impression. Man City have drawn a stupid amount of games, he has refused to alter tactics when he has needed to and all bar one of the high profile players he has chased has eventually gone elsewhere, which for all the pomp the club has come out with is a tad embarrassing. Sure, they got Adebyor and Tevez, but they would swap them in a heartbeat for Ribery, Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo. Mancini, Hughes’ replacement, is better at coaching world class players, a better tactician and has a better achievement list. He will attract better players who want to work with him. You could see this swap coming a mile off.

What is disgusting, however, is the way that Hughes was given the boot. Allegedly, Hughes knew his fate was sealed when he took charge of his final game. Mancini was even rumoured to be sat in the owners box at the City Of Manchester Stadium. According to some sources, the deal was done up to 13 days before Hughes was canned.

Although all of this has been denied, it is a stupid denial. Even if Hughes was fired on merit after the Sunderland game (which City won, albeit not convincingly), you don’t get a guy like Robert Mancini in on 36 hours notice. You have negotiated that contract a long, long time ago. You have made Mark Hughes a lame duck without him even knowing it. In any profession, from football management to warehouse management, you do not treat a guy like that. Period. You sac up and talk to someone face to face, not slyly force them out.

Does The Premiership Need English Players?

During the flurry of activity that made up the Christmas period, one game sprung into the forefront for all the wrong reasons. When Arsenal made the frankly depressing journey down to Fratton Park to play Pompey, there was a first time thing happening in the Premiership – no English players were involved in the starting line ups of either side. None. Zip. Zero.

Last time I checked, this was The English Premier League that we all watch and love. Foreign players bring in a great spark to the game, and they should absolutely be encouraged. Regardless of nation, it is always awesome to see top players in English football.

The point where this becomes a grey area, though, is when you get to fringe and squad players. Do you really need that French\Spanish\Italian\etc guy who you are paying a few million quid for for no apparent reason, or is there an English player around who can do the same job? Maybe it is because English teams don’t like buying from Championship teams, and it is just too expensive to buy from other Prem teams, that transfer targets often come from abroad. Perhaps it is just the prestige. Who knows. End of the day, though, don’t English Premiership teams have some sort of prerogative to develop English players for the England national team? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the positions where we are weakest at the National level – goalkeeper, wingers, prolific strikers – are the positions where most Premiership foreigners are found.

The truth of the matter, though, is this is a bit of a moot point. No matter what FIFA and UEFA and the FA and Me want to do about it, we can’t. Due to the super fun employment laws in Europe, anyone with a European passport can work anywhere in Europe. That goes for people born outside of Europe but who have ties to the continent, such as an Arsenal squad made up of players born in former French African colonies. It sucks, as I would love to see a requirement that in any match day squad at least 3 of the 18 English with two more just more generally British. But, allas, any attempt to do that would be firmly illegal. Humph.

FA Cup 3^rd Round

United just got dumped out of the FA Cup by old foes Leeds United. Words cannot describe how angry this has made me. Other than that, there were no other shocks. West Ham got booted out by Arsenal, but other than that nothing of note has happened. That is all.

2010 Predictions

Well that is pretty much it from me for the moment. I have gotten to the point where I would feel bad if I dumped on Liverpool any more so shall leave off them for this week. But, before I sign off and go set up the replacement Xbox 360 I just bought, let’s have a quick look forward to the footballing year of 2010 with some predictions, eh? I feel 10 is a disturbingly logical number of them for 2010. Therefore, I shall do 11…

1)      England get to the quarter finals of the World Cup, then lose on penalties. This always happens. It is like the changing of the tides. We should accept it and move on.

2)      Portsmouth will find a way to finish the season on negative points while confused owners try to understand why they got relegated instead of being able to draft Ndamukong Suh with the number 1 overall pick.

3)      American based players coming to the Premiership for 5 month slots will become the cool thing to do. Beckham does it. Donavan does it. In fact, I think UEFA and MLS should encourage it. I bet that Major League Soccer would get a lot more prestigious players if they knew that they would get loaned back to a Premiership squad  for the business end of the season.

4)      Drew Carey will try to capitalise on the success of the Seattle Sounders by integrating them into a ‘Whose Ball Is It Anyway’ style of show. In this, the Sounders will kick balls at Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and a C-List comedian. On each ball will be a suggestion for a scene. Wayne will then sing and act like he has ADHD, Mochrie will break forth with self deprecating humour, Ryan will be grouchy and make himself laugh while the C-List comedian will try their hardest to steal attention and attract network scouts for that pilot show that him and his drinking buddy wrote. Drew will then subjectively award goals. You know what, I’d watch that show…

5)      Sir Alex Ferguson will explode with fury. Look at him at the moment, he is primed and ready to go.

6)      Inversely, Didier Drogba will implode with arrogance.

7)      Cristiano Ronaldo’s record £80m transfer fee will be broken, probably by Torres as rumours are already abound with Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Pee Wee Herman ready to bid around £120m for the baby-faced Spaniard.

8)      During the World Cup, there will be at least another 2 instances where video replay technology is obviously required. Sepp Blatter and Michael Platini will then say something has to be done, do nothing and blame The Premiership.

9)      Thierry Henry goes to MLS. This is not a joke, I can see it happening.

10)  Ryan Giggs’ renaissance will abruptly end with an injury. Sadly, this is not a joke either. As much as I love Ryan, 36 year old legs cannot bear his burden for much longer. He has a history of muscle problems and I doubt he will be able to carry on the way he is going.

11)  The London Chronicles will be declared the toast of the internet, the leading semi-regular Premiership column out there and between us, Seniór Elevation and I shall fight crime.

Alright, everybody. I really enjoyed offering my predictions last Winter for 2009, and was quite surprised when a good bit of them came through. This time around, I’ll be mostly offering pro wrestling and MMA prognostications, however we’ll have a few general sports thrown in.

- The wrestling world will be shocked in October of 2010 when Hulk Hogan abruptly leaves TNA. Hogan will have grown  disillusioned with the iMPACT zone environment and will seek to take his trade to an “Organization that knows how to draw, brother!”  TNA fans will not be sad to see Hogan leave after months and months of younger talented guys being jobbed out to friend of Hogan re-treads. Fans will also grow pissed when Hogan never actually wrestles a single match in TNA. He will be married by the end of 2010 to his fiance who looks far too much like his daugther.

TNA fans knew something was up with Hogan when the Nasty Boys became the longest reigning (and fattest) tag team in TNA history.

- Scott Hall will be unceremoniously fired from TNA in February of 2010 when he shows up completely wasted to the iMPACT zone and proceeds to vomit all over Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Dixe Carter at the same time. Hall will then reach his manifest destiny when he becomes a body double to an equally bloated and faded star Steven Seagal on the show Steven Seagal: Lawman. Producers realized Seagal didn’t actually have to be in Louisiana to film the show when nothing of note happens every single time he gets into the police car. To save costs, Hall pretends to be Seagal, while Steve is allowed to record all the voice overs in his basement.

Hey Yo: Welcome to Scott Hall: Lawman

- Jeff Hardy’s debut in TNA will come to a crashing halt when he is thrown in jail after being found guilty of all his drug charges in June of 2010. Matt Hardy will wish he is prison by June of 2010 after being jobbed out dozens of times as a way of being punished for Jeff’s sins by the WWE.

- Ric Flair will sadly end his American wrestling retirement after a singles match with Kurt Angle at TNA Lockdown. Millions of American wrestling fans will shake their heads in shame. Can I get a refund for Wrestle Mania 24 DVD?

- Tommy Dreamer will debut in TNA this April. He will come out and cry. He will then be hit in an unprotected chair shot from Abyss.

- Wrestle Mania 26 in Phoenix AZ will do over 1,000,000 buys headlined by Shawn Michaels’ rematch with the Undertaker and Bret Hart and Vince McMahon’s grudge match street fight type thing. People will go into Mania expecting the worst, but will be pleasantly surprised when McMahon bumps all over the place for the Hitman and they have a really fun ending to their storied real life rivalry.  HHH will bury Sheamus in one of the worst matches of all time. I’m sorry, Celtic Warrior.

You know the drill. Click the picture to hear Bret Hart's interview on Elevation Radio.

- Drew McIntyre will randomly win the WWE title sometime in the fall of 2010. Meanwhile Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, MVP, Kofi Kingston, and hundreds of others who are more deserving kick their doorstops in anger.

- The TNA Champion on January 1, 2011 will be Kurt Angle.

The WWE Champions will be:

Raw- HHH

Smackdown- Edge

ECW- ECW will cease to exist as a brand as we know it. I bet it becomes a Superstars like show, however if it continues to exist, I say Bryan Danielson is their champ.

2010: The Year of the Game. Sigh.

MMA Predictions:

-Strikeforce will continue to develop into a highly viable 2nd rung MMA promotion. Dan Henderson will beat Jake Shields for the middleweight title in April on a CBS show and will position himself as Strikeforce’s top star.

- Herschel Walker will be out of MMA by August of 2010. Trying to become a professional athlete in another sport at the age of 47 will turn out to be a poor idea.

- Big PREDICTION- Chuck Liddell will sign with Strikeforce by December of 2010. He will be a free agent after LOSING to Tito Ortiz in their 3rd match this Summer. Dana White will refuse to sign him due to health concerns. Strikeforce will swoop in and get him.

Chuck Liddell: Strikforce bound in 2010?

- The long awaited Fedor/Overeem Strikeforce title fight will never take place in the United States due to the fact Overeem realize his current “prescriptions” will cause him to fail any American drug test.

The UFC Champions on January 1, 2011 will be:

Lightweight- BJ Penn”"

Welterweight- GSP^

Middleweight- Anderson Silva

Light Heavyweight- Antonio Rogerio Nogueira

Heavyweight- Brock Lesnar*

“”- There are rumors Penn will move up in weight and leave the 155 weight class. If that happens, and Penn is stripped of the title- I think Frankie Edgar will be the lightweight champion.

^- GSP recently said there is a 50/50 chance he will take a leave of absence, from the UFC following UFC 111 in New Jersey, to concentrate on making the Canadian Olympic wrestling team in 2012. If this happens, I predict Mike Swick will win the welterweight championship.

*- There is a strong chance Brock Lesnar will be forced to vacate the title due to complications/surgery from his intestinal disorder. If he is unable to compete, Junior Dos Santos will be the UFC Heavyweight champ on 1/1/11

One of these Nogueira twins is Antonio Rogerio. He will be the UFC LHW champion on 1/1/11. I honestly don't know which one is him.

Regular sport champions:

NBA- Lakers over Cavs 4-2 in the finals

NFL- New Orleans Saints (38) – San Diego Chargers (27) *- edit- I had the Bengals, but they were eliminated in the very first game of the playoffs. Ignore that pick.

MLB- Phillies 4-1 over Yankees

I'm just going to keep predicting this scene gets recreated until it happens

- The Winter Olympics will be a total flop. People are still getting over Beijing. However, Bode Miller will surpass Scott Hall as America’s drunkest professioanl athlete.

- Tiger Woods will win 3 majors. Greg Norman will win the British Open.

Tool.

- Elevation Radio will continue to dominate the internet airwaves. Rudy from Notre Dame will continue to be an object of scorn.

Alright now I’m just making up crap. Time to wrap it up.  Thanks for a great year.