The Outsiders' Edge

Hello everybody. Welcome back to the Outsiders’ Edge. I hope you all had a swell weekend. It was going alright for me until Elevation Nation got shaken to its core as my beloved Eagles were at the receiving end of the worst beat down in sports history since Ivan Drago murdered Apollo Creed in Rocky IV.

The Eagles-Ravens game was about as pleasing to the eyes as that scene in The Green Mile when Michael Jeter’s head caught on fire when he was executed on the electric chair. It was such a huge squash match, that even the Ultimate Warrior was like “what the hell was that ?” Andy Reid has totally lost all vestiges of effectiveness as head coach of the Eagles. It isn’t just his Stevie Wonder-like play calling that is killing the team, Reid has final control over all personnel decisions and is responsible for the American car industry like mess that the team finds itself in right now. The playmakers on offense are either injured (Westbrook), old (McNabb) or underutilized (DeSean Jackson). The defense is too small to stop power running teams, and the wide receivers are good in most areas of the game except for getting open, catching, and scoring touchdowns. I guess they all have moxie or something because Christ knows they don’t have any tangible receiving skills.  Its time to make a change at the top of the organization.

I know I wouldn’t mind having any of the following as the new Eagles head coach:

Mr. Miyagi’s pain management techniques will be effective for a team that has had its figurative leg swept six different times this year. The repeated motions of cutting Mr. Miyagi’s hedges will help Kevin Curtis and Reggie Brown develop the muscle memory and hand-eye coordination needed to master complex concepts such as catching the ball.

The Sinister Minister was able to coach up Mickey Whipwreck and Tajiri into a legitimate tag team. Anyone that has the ability to turn those total jobbers into a dynamic force certaintly has the leadership skills necessary to wipe away the losing mindset that now engulfs the Eagles.

I doubt Pierce knows anything about American football, but he’d at least be easy on the eyes on the sideline, unlike the borderline obese Andy Reid. I also just wanted to add this picture because it will distract SaintJustX for the rest of the day. Pretty evil, huh?

Well, thanks for stopping by the Edge. If you have any thoughts about this weekend NFL action or have any ideas for who you think should be the Eagles new coach, feel free to his us up with the comment tool.

Hopefully The Birds will turn things around soon. I think we just need a little change.

“I guess what I’m trying to say is, if I can change, and you can change, everybody can change.”

~ by lordelevation on November 24, 2008.

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