The best there almost was
Why hello there. Come on in. I hope you all had a fantastic Thanksgiving holiday. Mine was swell as usual. The Eagles mauled the Cardinals, I watched about 18 Bond movies on the marathon on SciFi, and I ate enough to feed a small South American tribe. The Bond marathons are always mind numbingly wonderful. God damn Sophie Marceau was hot. However, I will refrain from talking anymore about the foxiness of the Bond women since SJX has already covered that area pretty well. SJX imposed his will on that topic more then he does to 15 year old Asian girls that he meets at sketchy night clubs.
I’m sure mentioning 15 year old Asian girls will cause our Google searches to skyrocket and bring us a whole new viewing audience.
Alright then lets move on to our regularly scheduled broadcast.
There are many Thanksgiving athletic traditions. Everything form alumni touch football games to the yearly ass kicking of the Detroit Lions. For many years one of these Thanksgiving traditions was WWE’s Survivor Series. Whats that you say? You don’t consider professional wrestling to be a real sport? Well, I’m afraid Sjx and I have two words for you…………too bad.
Last Sunday’s WWE Survivor Series featured the companies two flagship championships: the WWE Championship and the World Heavyweight Championship change hands. the king of 11 year old boys John Cena and the now Evan Tanner looking Edge are the new big dogs in the company. This championship change up got me to thinking about all of the wrestlers in the WWE who never had a chance to be a world champion. Its a damn impressive list that includes some of the best workers and performers in professional wrestling history. We’ll also include wrestlers who never won the big belt with Ted Turner era WCW as well, since thats when that promotion really took off.
Instead of just listing all of the non-champions like a regular person would do, I decided to do the snarky blog thing and list them.
So without farther regard, I am proud to present Elevation’s list of the five greatest WWE (or WCW) wrestlers who never became top dog in the company.
#5 Curt Henning “Mr. Perfect”
Years in WWF/WWE 1982-84, 88-96, 2002. WCW 1997-2000
Poor Mr. Perfect. He had the ability to make three pointers from NBA range, bowl a 300, and catch his own Hail Mary pass, but he was never the world champion in the WWF, WWE, or WCW. Perfect was fantastic in the ring and had amazing skills on the microphone. He should have had a title run in the WWF at one point or another. Such wrestling “Illuminaries” such as Yokozuna, Psycho Sid and the immortal Ultimate Warrior had the top belt in the WWF during Henning’s first run with the company. He had the misfortune of joining WCW when Nitro was Hulk Hogan’s personal booking playground. Unfortunatly for Henning injuries and not kissing the right ass led to runs with the US title and the tag belts, but never a world title run. Sadly, Perfect died in 2002 when he was back with the WWE. Sadly we’ll never know if a world title run was ever in Curt Henning’s cards. It would have been simply perfect.
#4 Scott Hall “Razor Ramon”
Years in WWF/WWE 1992-96, 2002. Years in WCW 1989, 91-92, 96-00.
Hey Yo! If it isn’t the Bad Guy himself and co-patron Saint of the Outsdiers’ Edge, Mr. Scott Hall. The argument can be made that Scott Hall was one of the five best wrestlers of the 1990s. He had everything, the physical tools, the speaking ability, and the look of a world champion. Unfortunately Razor’s long history of alcohol problems and groping strange women made him too unreliable for wrestling promotions to ever truly trust. The Clique and the nWo were the two of the biggest wrestling super groups in history, and Hall played a huge part in both. Razor got lost in the shuffle behind the huge egos of guys like HHH, Shawn Michaels, and Hulk Hogan. Notice the growing theme with Hogan? I sense we’ll be hearing more tails about the Hulkster holding good men down in the entries to come. Now a days Scott can be found in your local jail or hanging out ringside at TNA events with strange men dressed as clowns in a drunken fog. Oddly enough, Scott Hall and our #5 entry Curt Henning were actually in a tag team together back in the AWA back in the mid 1980s. Rumor has it that the real reason neither guy received a title run is because of their roles in this promotional video that Verne Gagne and Shawn Michaels probably don’t want you to see.
Look for SJX and I to reenact that video some point in the next decade
#3 Arn Anderson
WWF 1989. WCW 1990-97. Has worked in WWE past 10 years as a road agent.
It can be argued that Arn Anderson is the greatest tag team wrestler of all time. Arn was the glue that held different variations of the 4 Horsemen together for over 15 years. He was also WWF Tag Team champions with Tully Blanchard as a member of the Brain Busters in 1989. Arn invented the AA Spinebuster, utilized today by HHH and Batista. Nobody put the “spine on the pine” better than Arn. He was fantastic at all aspects of professional wrestling, including giving “catbaths” to young female WWE staffers. Just go ahead and use Urban Dictionary to find out what that term means or you can send an e-mail to SJX’s old girlfriend who looked like Maryam D’abo to find out more information. You would have thought being best friends with Ric Flair would have gotten Arn a world title run somewhere down the line, but it was never meant to be. Arn will always be under-appreciated by wrestling fans, but his pioneering style and the moves he invented will live on in WWE rings for years to come. As will thousands of lawsuits and harrassment claims from female WWE staffers.
#2 Ricky Steamboat
WWF 1985-88, 1991. WCW 1989, 91-94. Currently road agent with WWE.
Quite simply Ricky Steamboat is one of the five greatest babyfaces in wrestling history. Steamboat did not have a single bad match in his entire career. His match at Wrestle Mania III over the Intercontinental Title against Randy Savage is considered by many as the greatest of all time. He had legenday feuds in the last 70s and early 80s over the NWA title with Ric Flair. He was the world champion of the National Wrestling Alliance, but was never given the main belt with WCW or the WWF. Steamboat was the Bruce Lee of professional wrestling. Sure he did copious amounts of steroids in the 1980s, but that never hurt anybody. (Thanks to Vince McMahon for writing that last sentence). He remained a babyface his entire career, but he was so damn talented he probably would have made a tremendous heel as well. I don’t know if Hogan had anything to do with Steamboat never becoming world champ, buts lets just assume he did so that we can have another opportunity to tell the Hulkster to go fuck himself. I hope Celebrity Championship Wrestling works out for the best. Nothing makes for compelling television like having that fat fuck Brian Knobbs hit Trishelle Cannatella in the back with a steel chair. Anybody who watches more then 5 minutes of that show because they seriously enjoy it, needs to be thrown in a pit of snakes. Sorry, for the distraction. Love you Steamboat!
#1 Rowdy Roddy Piper
WWF/WWE 1984-87, 89-96, 2003, 2005 to present. WCW 1996-2000.
How in the hell has Hot Rod Piper never been a world champion in the WWE or WCW? The man was quite possibly the most famous heel of all time. From breaking the coconut over Superfly’s head to engaging in brutal feuds with Hulk Hogan, Rowdy Roddy Piper has seemingly been in the middle of many of the most famous moments in wrestling history. It was great already, but imagine how much better the Hogan/Piper rivalry would have been if the Hulkster had been the hunter one damn time? Would it really have caused the WWF to fold to put the title belt on Rowdy Roddy Piper on freakin’ time? He should get the title belt in 2008 for having to carry that clown to so many great matches in the WWF and WCW. He had a few title runs with the NWA belt back in the way old days, but in his entire 25 year WWF/WWE and WCW career, Piper’s only championship runs were once with the Intercontinental title and once with the tag belts back in 2005 for a few weeks with the Nature Boy. He had one US title run with WCW. Thats it? Three measly minor title runs for the greatest heel character of all time? Really WCW? You thought it was a better decision to put the belt on an actor like David Arquette or talentless hacks like Diamond Dallas Page and Vince Russo over Hot Rod Piper? That is not deserving of a trip to the Piper’s Pit. Also, Hogan probably had alot to do with it too, so screw him. Man, just writing this entry has gotten me really worked up. Hey HotRod do you have any prescriptions to help deal with the anxiety?
So there you have it folks. The 5 men who most got fucked over by the Man. Also I’d like to point out a few honorable mentions:
The Million Dollar Man- it came down to him and Arn.
Superfly Snuka
Jake the Snake- Too many demons and probably got screwed by Hogan.
Both members of the Hardy Boyz
Both members of the British Bulldogs
The late great Owen Hart
William Regal
Lance Storm
The Mountie
Damn Canada get screwed alot.
Well have a great weekend folks. Remember to tell a few pals about us, and if you have anything you’d like to add to the conversation, hit us up with the comment box.
lordelevation
globalcorrespondent
Ted Dibiase?
Chad said this on November 29, 2008 at 2:42 pm
Chad,
It was close between DiBiase, Arn, and Perfect.
I think it just came down to being a huge fan of the WrestleRock video and a lover of the Horsemen
lordelevation said this on December 1, 2008 at 8:42 pm