The Outsiders' Edge

Welcome back to the Outsiders’ Edge everybody. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to you and yours. SJX should be back soon. He took off from writing for the last few weeks to deal with a few personal responsibilities. He should be back after Christmas assuming “dealing with a few personal issues” isn’t a code word for “arrested during the latest filming of  “To Catch a Predator.”

Saint enjoying his holiday vacation

As an aside I have to say that all of the hysterical Google entries people are using to find their ways to the Edge have left  SJX and I rolling in laughter.

The 5 funniest entries used to find OE so far are:

5- punching santa

4-blagojevich nude

3- snort line off cock

2- steven segal hands

1- young scrotum

There are about 25 other entries involving certain parts of the female anatomy that have also been jaw dropping, but I don’t really want to post all of those queries due to fear of the FBI tackling me next time I head to my car. The sheer number of entries involving Michelle Yeoh and Paula Creamer have also been astounding.

 

Michelle Yeoh: the desire of the heart for countless OE readers

So I guess with SJX’s vacation and incarceration that means you all are stuck with your old pal Elevation for the time being. Lately the WWE has been doing a new angle involving Randy Orton forming a new faction with Cody Rhodes, the son of the American Dream Dusty Rhodes and Manu, the son of Afa from the Wild Samoans. It fills a big void since there hasn’t been a really must see faction in the WWE since Evolution.  This got me to thinking, what is the best faction in wrestling history? We here at OE love wrestling, rankings, and wrestling rankings, so without further interruption I am pleased to introduce to you the list of wrestling’s 5 greatest factions.

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Oddly enough the only living members of the New Hart Foundation are the members of the Old Hart Foundation

5) The Hart Foundation

The Hart Foundation had two great runs. The first in the late 80s and early 90s with Bret Hart, Jim Neidhart, and their manager The Mouth of the South Jimmy Hart. The second run was in the mid 90s with Hart, Neidhart, Brian Pillman, Owen Hart, and Davey Boy Smith. Both generations were stacked with talent who could bring it on the microphone or in the ring.  However, Pillman, Owen Hart, and Davey Boy Smith were taken from us at way too young of an age. Owen died falling from an arena rafter in Vince McMahon’s greatest folly. It shouldn’t have taken a genius to realize that having untrained professionals repel themselves 200 feet through the air dressed like a superhero was an idiotic idea that would only end in disaster. Pillman died from a heart disorder, and you can look at Davey Boy’s arms to figure out what happened to him. The Hart foundation was the greatest collection of Canadian wrestling talent in history and no foreign tag team or faction has been able to utilize the “We hate America” angle better then the Harts. Today Bret Hart is certifiably insane and Jim Neidhart looks like he ate Jimmy Hart and all the rest are dead, so the odds of an original Hart Foundation reunion is next to none. However, there have been rumblings that Jim Neidhart’s daughter Natalya and Davey Boy Smith’s son Harry may form a Hart Foundation 2.0 Who knows, maybe we’ll see a few more wars with the United States?

The Von Erichs take time from their busy schedule of doing drugs to pose for a group photo

The Freebirds were loved by people of only one race

4) The Fabulous Freebirds and the Von Erich Family

Look, how can you possibly rank one of these groups ahead of another? The Fabulous Freebirds and the Von Erich family combined to really put World Class Championship Wrestling on the map. The VonErichs were wrestling royalty and no group personified the good ol’ boy Southern wrestling image like the Fabulous Freebirds. They had one of the greatest feuds in wrestling history, however the Von Erichs started dying off quicker then disco and it wasn’t meant to be. Imagine if instead of Len Bias dying it was the whole Maryland basketball team dying from using coke. The Iron Claw of death caught all of them except for Kevin. Despite what they are remembered for today, their deaths should not overshadow the amazing work they did in the ring, when they weren’t completely baked. The Freebirds were a dynamic trio who really combined the athleticism of wrestling with Southern Rock and dancing. Leonardo Spanky meets Leonard Skynard. Today they are well known for PS Hayes’ racist antics in the WWE but we should always remember their in ring ability and for bringing us one of the most awesomely bad YouTube clips of all time, this side of WrestleRock Rumble.

HBK and HHH will come to your house and steal your car if you mention any previous members of DX

3) DX

DX didn’t just push the wrestling envelope. They took the envelope and burned it in an incenerator and forced PN News to eat the ashes. While receving contributions from the Road Doggs, Chyna, Rick Rude, and X Pac over the years, the foundation of DX has been Shawn Michaels and Triple H. Hunter and Shawn have been the cornerstones of the company over the past decade, and nobody with the exception of the Undertaker has been so great for so long in the WWE as these two. They always have fantastic matches (except for HHH with Vlad Kozlov) and they are consistently great on the mic. My only negative with them is that DX was a pretty blatant rip off of the nWo. Vince saw how succesful Hulk and the Boys were and had to have his own version of the wise asses who are too cool to play by the rules. But, DX did a great job playing the roles assigned to them and continue to make the most out of the gimmick. DX personified the Attittude Era and the glory days of the WWE. They got away with things that never seemed possible in a WWE setting. Could you imagine Hulk Hogan and Ultimate Warrior doing a 10 minute promo about cock jokes? I think not. We’d also like to thank Chyna and XPac for creating one of the most horrifying sex tapes of all time. At least it was between those two and not Billy Gunn and Road Dogg Jesse James. As long as their is money to be made from peddaling DX merchendise we will be seeing DX around for a long, long time.

The nWo at its finest with just 3 members. The Scott Norton, Buff Bagwell days are not remembered to fondly

2) nWo

Hey Yo! You just knew that a faction including the Outsiders was going to be ranked highly on a blog named after the Outsiders. Look quite simply the nWo was the reason for the Attitude Era. Also, when I’m talking about the nWo, I’m only including Hogan, Hall, and Nash. Just ignore the time when it was about 50 members and included cunts like Marcus Bagwell, Eric Bischoff, Dennis Rodman, and Stevie Ray. When it was the orginal three there was no hotter angle in wrestling history. Hogan turning heel from Bash At the Beach remains one of the greatest and most memorable moments in wrestling history. The group was on top of the world until WCW in its infinite wisdom decided to add the entire roster to the faction and export it around the world to Japan. They took a perfect thing made it into a total mockery. This has been talked about before, but how did Scott Hall never hold the WCW world heavyweight title? The man was one of the three hottest people in the company yet he was never given a title run. God forbid the Hulkster, Goldberg, or Sting take time out of their busy lives to let the Bad Guy have the strap for a month or two. Anyway, the three of them were fantastic together and despite the contrived efforts of TNA, no wrestling super group will ever match the nWo. Wolfpac for life!

Members of the Horsemen count how many skanks they banged the night before in Birmingham Alabama

1)Who were you expecting at this spot? The Blue World Order?  Was there really any question who #1 was going to be? The greatest faction in professional wrestling history has to be the 4 Horsemen. No group raised more hell, won more titles, banged more whores, drank more scotch, flew on more planes, and kicked more ass then the 4 Horsemen. The Horsemen always had great lineups, but their best ever was the group pictured above with Ric Flair, Arn Anderson, Tully Blanchard, Barry Windham, and their manager JJ Dillon. They tore havoc in the NWA. All 4 guys could bring it in the ring and on the mic. Their feuds with Dusty Rhodes, Sting, and the Road Warriors were legendary. The group tore it up in the NWA and continued to have a great run in WCW when they were reformed with Naitch, Arn, Dean Malenko, and noted family murderer Chris Benoit. Everybody from Sting to Paul Roma to Lex Luger to Steve McMichael to Curt Henning did tours of duty with the Horsemen. They always were entertaining through the years and you just knew that anything Flair touched would be gold. Their legacy lasted for 20 years, and by God the 4 Horsemen were the greatest limosine ridin, jet flyin’, jewlery buyin’, championship stylin’ faction in the history of wrestling!

I’ll take you out with a little vintage Horsemen as Flair and the Boys get into a heated exchange with the legendary Dusty Rhodes.

Have a Merry Christmas everybody and one of us will be sure to post something before 2009 begins, so be sure to come on back to the Edge!