The Outsiders' Edge

Welcome back everybody. I just got done watching the demolition of the Chosen One LeBron James at the hand of the Orlando Magic. I have to give it to Orlando. I thought for sure that the Cavs would steamroll through this series and face LA in the finals. Sorry, Cleveland, but this loss pretty much put the nail in the coffin of any chance that LeBron would return to the Cavs. Hello Knicks in 2010. Maybe the 2010 Knicks center will move like he isn’t wearing titanium shoes like Big Z does. Zydrunas Ilgauskas vs. Dwight Howard was a more one sided matchup than Mr. Kennedy vs. health.

I’m sure David Stern is going to be holding a mass execution for all of the refs who let Stan Van Gundy and his band of misfits get away with this highway robbery of the King.

Stan Van Gundy can expect to wake up to a horse head placed on his bed by Bennett Salvatore.

However, I’m going to buck the odds and say that Orlando wins in 6. I love their dump it into the big man and have the other 4 guys jack up 3s gameplan.

A few other quick thoughts from the sporting world:

1- Check out my latest audio from Elevation Radio. It was a fun 90 minute episode that touched on numerous topics including the NBA Finals, The Belmont Stakes, some of the porn star sounding Horse Names in this year’s race, my one friend’s odd obsession with Felix Pie, a ton of MMA, and an interview with an NBA expert. One of these days SJX is going to bite the bullet and pay an astronomical phone bill to do the show with me. I mean hell, my friend Bret Hart called me for 25 minutes from his estate in Hawaii, and I know SJX is way richer than him.

2-Do you ever go through fads where you are just living in the past? This past week I have been oddly obsessed with 2 video games. First- Fire Pro Wrestling on my PS2 which is a Japanese based MMA and wrestling game from 2006 that looks like it was made in 1996. And Zelda: Ocarina of Time on my NINTENDO 64 which is actually from 1996. I don’t know what it is about Zelda, but I have been playing the fucking thing on and off for close to a decade now. You want to know the sad part? I still haven’t beaten the “new game” that I created in 2003! Thats right. I have been playing as the same profile since TWO THOUSAND AND THREE. Goddamn it. Save me.

The game I have been trying to beat since Clinton was President.

3- I know SJX is going to kill me, but I was totally marking out like a 9 year old girl at a Jonas Brothers concert (Or me at a Bruce Springsteen concert) the other night during Monday Night Raw. Something about seeing the Nature Boy kicking Randy Orton and his tattoos like a government mule made me happy. I know that he eventually received the field goal kick of doom to his noggin, but I loved seeing Flair actually get some offense in and not just be a punching bag. Orton even suffered through the dreaded Figure 4 on the announcers’ table which is apparently more painful than receiving the move in the ring. I also enjoyed Flair going nuts while wearing an Arn Anderson (cat baths) styled polo shirt, dark suit pants, and slacks. I’d much rather see Flair get Orton bloodied up and kick a little ass than SHANE McMAHON. Shane O’Mac has the physique and wardrobe of a middle-age government employee taking his kids to soccer practice. At least Naitch is one of the all time greats. SJX is probably laughing right now, because I totally spazed out last April when Flair retired, kind of like when I did the Austin piece, basically getting all emotional and sad about Flair leaving, while SJX tried to keep me off the ledge and assure me that Naitch’s numerous divorce payments would bring him back to the WWE. Well turns out Saint was right and all is square in Elevation Nation. This may be a tad sadistic of me, but I love seeing Ric Flair being a crazed senior citizen. He is such a breath of fresh air with the current WWE product, and really stands out from all of the wooden guys like Randy Orton and Jeff Hardy who are currently being pushed at the top of the card. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Lots of MMA going on this weekend. Here are a few quick hit predictions:

WEC:

Faber over Brown

Aldo over Swanson

Pulver over Grispi

Jens Pulver will make El look good and beat Grispi

Strikeforce (The MMA promotion, not the tag team that cunt Tito Santana was in)

Diaz over Smith

Lawler over Shields

Rogers over Arlovski

Whitehead over Randleman

Baroni over Riggs

WWE:

Edge over Hardy

Jericho over Mysterio

Orton over Batista

Cena over Big Show

Christian over Dreamer and Swagger

Y2J: The best heel in the business today

One last thing.  I know many of you may not get Sirius/XM satellite radio, but you really should. The commercial free music, E-Street Radio, and Chris Russo really makes it a great thing. One of the best features is being able to listen to the uncensored version of the Howard Stern show. I love Howard. I’ve been a fan for a really long time. I miss the old days when the show used to be replayed on E! late at night. However, I kind of stopped listening and watching it after the show went to Sirius. It had been about 3 years before I finally got satellite radio, and something has been gnawing at me. I’m sure Artie Lange is a wonderful stand up comedian, but he really annoys me on the Stern show. Jackie Martling used to fill the role of sidekick forever and really knew when to shut up and when to jump in the show. Artie Lange does not have that ability. He just doesn’t knew when it appropriate to be quiet, or when it a great time to jump in and start yelling the N word and repeatedly asking Ben Stiller about what it was like when Owen Wilson attempted suicide. He says he is off heroin, but I just don’t know. Shut up Artie!

Pipe down Artie!

I just read on a wrestling website that the WWE has decided to bring back Chris Masters. Yes, lets cut Mr. Kennedy who actually showed flashes of talent and bring back a guy who was suspended twice for failing drug tests and now looks like a deflated balloon due to his steroid withdrawl. That it almost a bad idea, as TNA’s decision to film an entire month’s worth of Impact tapings in 2 days, and then being caught with their pants down since Samoa Joe tore his triceps in front of a house crowd audience of 500 people in NAMPA Idaho! Great call there. Way to back yourself into a wall TNA.

Samoa Joe may be the only active wrestler who is actually fatter than Artie Lange.

Alright people- visit our links, tell a few friends and enjoy this weekend’s action. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

~ by lordelevation on June 4, 2009.

Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: Artie Lange, Bret Hart, Chris Jericho, Jens Pulver, Ric Flair, Stan Van Gundy