The Outsiders' Edge

Welcome back to the Edge everybody. Earlier this week I traveled down to Baltimore to witness the latest WWE ECW and Smackdown television tapings. The assembled crowd was quite the collection of Americana and I had a fine time.

Downtown Baltimore was somewhat crowded considering the Orioles were playing at the same time as the WWE show.  However, things weren’t as bad as it could have been. Baltimore was playing the Royals and there were likely more fans watching homeless people play paint buckets at drums down by the inner harbor as there were at Camden Yards.

I attended with one of my friends, and one of the on going hilarious themes of the night was how ridiculously drunk the 40ish year old man, who went to the show with three kids and another father, was. It was a slow build of tomfoolery and ballyho and eventually resulted in him repeatedly screaming that Jeff Hardy was “Elvis” during the main event and generally making a total hilarious fool of himself.

The ECW taping was pretty entertaining. I think people were actually startled to see GOLDUST. He looks way thinner than he was with TNA and actually had a nice little match with Sheamus- the new Irish guy in the WWE. Of course going from angles with Roddy Piper, the Rock, and Booker T to doing jobs on the WWE “C” show is a bit of a career nose dive, but at least he isn’t main-eventing a house show in Omaha, Nebraska against the Yeti.

Goldust: Entering his 25th year of living off the American Dream

Before the main event Tommy Dreamer came out to confront Christian, who was in the middle of the promo and announce that the two were going to have a match up for the ECW title in an extreme rules match next week on the SyFY channel. This segment was basically unremarkable except, when Dreamer came out he basked in the applause and the adulation for quite a few seconds and reacted as though he received one of the biggest pops in his wrestling career. In reality about a dozen people were happy to see him and the r est of the arena wanted to get to the Christian-Zach Ryder main event.

Ryder and Christian actually tore the house down. Christian needs to become a main eventer on Raw and rob us of the malaise of Hunter, Orton, Cena, and Batista who have been dominating the Raw title scene for years. The peeps want to see him.

Christian had better start fake laughing at HHH's lame jokes unless he wants to win a better championship than the TNA World Title

Speaking of the peeps, I have to admit that I was pleasantly surprised by the quality of people who attended the event in Baltimore. I had low expectations going in, but it was actually a pretty decent crowd. I’m sure some people’s collars got a little tight when Chris Jericho referred to the fans of Baltimore as “criminals” but I got a laugh out of it. The fans were excitable, they got into the matches. There was not any rowdiness in the stands and it was very easy getting in and out. I was expecting the dregs of society, but it wasn’t that at all. Perhaps my expectations were low because I am use to attending Ravens games where it seems like half of the crowd lives in mobile homes that are powered by goat shit.

Anywho, back to the tapings. Jeff Hardy received a monstrous pop at the beginning of the SmackDown taping. He was amazingly over, to the point that people were screaming their heads off every time he appeared on one of the ads for video games or DVDs that they play on the Titantron during every commercial break. He cut this promo where he referred to all of the adoring fans as being “freaks like him”. Needless to say things quieted down a tad for young Jeff after that verbal home run. Jim Ross also received a nice ovation upon his entrance. I think he smiled to the crowd.

In a completely inexplicable decision Cryme Tyme defeated the Hart Trilogy to become the number one contenders to Chris Jericho and Big Show’s tag belts at Summer Slam. I have to say, that I really have no idea why the fans are so behind Cryme Tyme. Its a real shame that they are the only face tag team in the entire WWE. JTG and Tyson Kidd could have a hell of a singles match if they ever had the chance. It would be a hell of alot better than any tag match where Shad or David Hart Smith had to get involved. People say that Harry Smith is the next breakout star, but he is terrible! For someone who has been wrestling since about age 2 you would think he would have better ring psychology than an under card diva, but that is not the case. He needs to get close to Uncle Dynamite Kid if he wants to have a clue of how the hell to wrestle.

David Hart Smith: The David Flair of the Smith family.

Rey Mysterio took part in a half good tag team match with Finaly against Mike Knox and Dolph Ziggler. I say half good because it was fine when Rey and Dolph were in the match, and silent film level boring with Mike Knox and Finlay in the match. I don’t think Finlay has had an entertaining match since Diamond Dallas page was the WCW World Heavyweight Champion.

Rey, Chris Jericho and Big Show, and Jeff Hardy were the three wrestlers who came out with pyro as part of their entrances. It was also used at the opening of ECW and Smackdown. It was one of the loudest things I have ever heard in my life. We had great seats, about 25 feet from the ring, but were a pretty good distance away from the entrance tunnel and it was still loud as hell. It also left this weird burning smell in the arena after going off. I assume that was an aftereffect of the fireworks and not something coming from the backseat of Jeff Hardy’s SUV.

The divas had a match that was notable only because all four lived. The Great Khali and Charlie Haas had a 2 minute match that ended in an apparent no contest. Before the match we were a bit confused because all of the lights were turned down and a group of 20 workers all of a sudden emerged from the shadows and circled the ring. However, afterward it became apparent what they were doing when KANE popped out form underneath the ring to continue his feud with Khali. Quite the five star match those two are going to have together. Flair and Steamboat will be shaking in their boots.

The main event of the taped show was a spectacular match between John Morrison and Jeff Hardy that featured all sorts of amazing aerial wizardry and death defying destruction. Seriously, it was a hell of a battle and was as good as any match in 2009, short of Undertaker and Shawn Michaels at WrestleMania.

God, John Morrison is so freakin' ugly!

Morrison is a great talent and so much better than the worthless second generation types like Ted DiBiase Jr. and Harry Smith who the WWE have trumpeted as the future. The only down thing fro Morrison during the night was this stupid overly scripted promo he was forced to give where he talked about his awesome Jeff Hardy is and used the stupid phrase “WWE Universe”. WWE Universe is the stupidest phrase in the world and sounds so unnatural whenever WWE guys have to use it in their promos- which is every single show. The scripted promos are bad enough and adding WWE Universe to everyone makes them even worse.

The night was capped by a post taping dark match between Hardy and CM Punk- who was getting mega heat as a heel. Their little match took place inside a steel cage.  You could tell it was the dark match steel cage and not the one they use for PPV or TV matches. The thing didn’t come down from the ceiling and was actually assembled by hand by all of the referees- who also moonlight at the ring builders. The thing was built in about nine seconds and was about as sturdy as a graham cracker house. Luckily Kane wasn’t in the match or the entire thing would have collapsed.

Jeff Hardy- The Hardy with more mic skills.

All in all it was a fine time. Getting to see Hardy and Morrison have one of the best matches of the year was fantastic and am looking forward to maybe snagging a Raw sometime in the future. My next live event series will be posted in a few weeks following my attendence at the August 22nd DC United-LA Galaxy game. Maybe that dreamy David Beckham will look at me!