The Outsiders' Edge

Quick Note- Check out my show with Dan Severn http://www.blogtalkradio.com/elevationradio/2009/10/23/Elevation-Radio-with-JPK

Well, we are on the eve of the first game of the 2009 World Series.

I am pumped to see my team, the defending world champion Phils defend their belts in an Undertaker-like fashion against the heel New York Yankees.

This series is going to be so dynamic, so powerful, the dead will rise up, the sick will get healed, the sinners will get righteous, the quiet will start to scream, dogs will howl, cats will meow, bombs will explode, bullpens will implode, riots will puncture tires, start fires, and persecute liars.

Its going to be a bowling shoe ugly, government mule beatin’,  genuine slobber knocker.

Hopefully.

I’ll admit I am completely on edge for this thing. I have a feeling it is going to be drag ‘em out seven game fight or a quick death for one of the two teams.

My game plan for the series is that the Phillies will win one of the first two games in NYC and then go on to win the three games at home. Similar to the recipe they have used in every series since the last NLCS. Against the Dodgers in 08, Rays in 08, and Rockie and Dodgers in 09 the Phils have split the first two games and dominated the middle portion of the series.

Unfortunately the Yankees are not the Rays. Despite Joe Girardi’s rampant over managing- really Freddy Guzman has to pinch run every single game?- the Yankees still possess a 208 million dollar payroll and a dangerous lineup from 1 to 9. Their Achilles heel is the lack of starting pitching. The Phillies have 5 competent starting pitchers. The Yankees have 3. If CC and Burnett aren’t at the top of their games New York will be screwed.

Enough of this. Now its time for me to slobber all over the Phillies bench and role players in an an annoying manner.

Beardo Bruntlett: The greatest pinch runner of all time

Eric Bruntlett is my second favorite player on the Phillies. He always scores huge runs whenever he comes into pinch run in big games. For example he scored the winning run in the clinching game 5 of last year’s World Series and the tying run in game 4 of the NLCS in 2009. After Stairs worked his masterful walk against Broxton, Beardo entered the game and scored on Rollins game winning double. He may not be much of a hitter, although he has come up big under the lights before. Last year in a losing effort against the Rays in game 2, Bruntlett hit a home run off of David Price. That was Beardo’s last home run. Needless to say, he is due. He is kind of like a good luck charm that always has a Forrest Gump like role in the big moment. Kind of like a useful Darko Milicic. But enough about Beardo, lets talk about my real favorite player.

God

What more can be said about Matt Stairs, that hasn’t already been said about Babe Ruth? Alright, probably lots of things. Stairs is a barrel chested throwback to the dead ball era with his timely slugging and lack of fielding skills. He has an amazing eye and secured a critical walk against his personal whipping boy Jonathan Broxton which eventually led to the Phils rally in Game 4. He is kind of like the Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart of the Phillies. I may be the only Phillies fan in the entire world who possesses a genuine Matt Stairs jersey shirt. This will probably end in the World Series, but the Phils are 4-0 in games where I break it out. Probably the greatest winning streak since Goldberg in WCW.

Lidge and Ruiz celebrate Lidge's first save since July. No not really. This is actually from when we won the World Series.

Like I mentioned before the Dodgers series, Brad Lidge is a changed man. Similar to how Batista recently turned heel, Brad Lidge has brought out his BAD SELF. The cut fastball has been dynamic and the slider has more zip on it than ever before. Also going in Lidge’s favor is the Matt Stairs jersey shirt rule. Thats right, Lidge will continue to perform at a high level in the World Series because through the magic of PayPal I made the rash decision to purchase a Lidge jersey for 40$ including shipping and handling from a Chinese knockoff website, that I had better not name here. The shirt is currently en-route to the United States and is probably going to accidentally be delivered to a family living on the island from Lost. Will this rash purchase make any difference at all? Probably not, but I like to believe stupid things.

Speaking of stupid things, how about TNA signing Hulk Hogan. Hogan is 55 years old with artificial hips, knees, and coming off recent back surgery. He is also more protective of his spot at the top of the card than any performer in wrestling and will stop at nothing to make sure the undercard guys do nothing to overshadow him.

I also expect TNA will bring in his usual army of cronies such as Brutus Beefcake, Ultimate Warrior, The Nasty Boys, Jimmy Hart, Horace Hogan, and anybody else they can find. TNA now had Hogan, Russo, Bischoff, and Kevin Nash under one roof. Apparently the whole WCW going out of business thing is a feeling TNA wants to re-create.

Cross the line to bankruptcy!

TNA's new tag team champions.

Anyway, back to the Phillies. There are no more words to be written, predictions to be given, or foolish jerseys to be purchased. The time is now. Just remember Yankees, TO BE THE MAN, YOU HAVE TO BEAT THE MAN. WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

You Want it Yankees, Come and get it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

~ by lordelevation on October 28, 2009.

Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: Brad Lidge, Eric Bruntlett, Hulk Hogan, Matt Stairs, Phillies, TNA, World Series, Yankees