The Outsiders' Edge

Welcome back to the Edge everybody. I figured that due to the recent flurry of articles from my crack team of global correspondents, I better get in on the act and post a few pearls of wisdom before I get completely forgotten.

I am sitting under a Great Khali sized snowfall here in the Mid-Atlantic area, however my mood has not been dampened, because my beloved Philadelphia Eagles clinched a playoff spot today with their proficient beating of the San Francisco 49ers. It wasn’t a PRIDE era Wanderlei Silva in his prime style knockout, but more of a Jon Fitch style judges’ decision, where we were able to stay one step ahead and eventually out class the hapless 49ers. DeSean Jackson continues to prove week in and week out that he is the most exciting wide receiver in the NFL, and Donovan McNabb was able to do a pretty impressive impression of himself from 2001 with a series clutch first half runs, including a huge 5 yd. TD scamper to extend the Philly lead to 14-3.

Donovan McNabb reminds Eagles fans that Mike Vick isn't the only QB on the roster with a great set of wheels.

I’m excited for the Eagles return to the playoffs. I give Andy Reid more crap than anyone in the world (going for it on 4th down from your own 29?! Really, Andy?), but the man knows how to put winning teams together. I’m sure I will be madder than an environmentalist protester in Copenhagen come mid-January when the Eagles lose their 5th Conference title game in the last 10 years,  but I am smiling ear to ear right now. DeSean Jackson, LeSean McCoy, and LaBret Celek (I made that up)  have proven to be fantastic offensive weapons, Jeremiah Trotter isn’t playing like a 68-year-old, Asante Samuel could intercept a missile right now, and Donovan is doing a great job of matriculating the ball down the field. Simply put, the Eagles are setting me up for a huge emotional fall. Whenever I am feeling bullish about the Eagles, the playoff sucker punch they inevitably give me is ten times more painful. BUT ENOUGH ABOUT THAT. We still have a little bit of regular season left and I’m very content at the moment.

Elevation getting beat down by riot police following an Eagles playoff loss in early 2010.

Besides the Eagles current success, I am highly anticipating the greatness that will be WWE Raw on January 4th. Now, since adopting the guest host idea in June most WWE Raws have been complete misses. Sure some guest hosts like Shaq, Jesse Ventura, and Bob Barker were highly entertaining, most of the others have been somewhere between poor and uncomfortable to watch. The November 30th addition of Raw in Baltimore that I attended with my friend Pete was definitely in the latter category. The show featured hardly any quality wrestling matches and a ridiculous amount of horribly uncharismatic appearances by creepy little person Verne Troyer. It was a terribly boring episode of Raw, that could not be saved by a pretty entertaining main event singles match between Chris Jericho and HHH. I almost felt embarrassed that Pete who is a casual fan of the current product, but loves the old-time guys like Scott Hall and Goldberg had to sit through parts of it. At least he was able to pass some of the time by punching a nine-year old in the face for his DX glow stick. Frankly, that was disgusting to witness. anyway,  JANUARY 4TH WILL NOT BE ONE OF THOSE BORING RAWS. Current reports indicate that the episode will be hosted by WWE Hall of Famer, and friend of Elevation Radio- Bret “The Hitman” Hart. (Listen to my interview with Bret Hart. Please. I beg you. SJX will come to your house and watch your kids for 30 minutes so you can get to it.) The Hitman signed a new contract with the WWE, and will be appearing with the promotion through WrestleMania.

I’m so glad to have the Hitman back in the fold. I can see two major matches with Bret taking place. 1st- Some sort of 6 man tag between Bret, Tyson Kidd, and Harry Smith (The Hart Dynasty) vs. DX and Vince McMahon. I thought that could be one of the main events for Mania, but that probably won’t be the case since Shawn Michaels announced on Monday that he wants to challenge The Undertaker again this March. That leaves some sort of gimmick match between Vince McMahon and Bret Hart. I would love to watch that. Bret would completely go into business for himself and whack the bejesus out of Vince with kendo sticks, baseball bats, frying pans, and whatever else he can get his hands on.

The next time Bret and Vince meet, The Hitman will likely bashing in Vince's head with a trash can.

The funny thing is that between Vince v. Bret and Undertaker v. HBK, Wrestle Mania 26 has a chance to break the all time WWE pay-per view record. Who would have guessed that two guys in their 40s, one in his 50s, and a 64-year-old would draw far better than John Cena and Randy Orton. At least those 4 guys won’t embarrass themselves the way Hulk Hogan surely will when he joins TNA on January 4th. If his recent Australia matches with Ric Flair are any indication, Hogan is moving worse than Andre the Giant is these days.   TNA is making a really horrible decision by doing a three-hour iMPACT head to head with Raw. TNA is going to get a lower rating than your local public access channel. TNA fans are oddly cult-like in their belief that TNA is a superior wrestling company than TNA. They seem to ignore the horrible writing and ridiculously complicated angles hatched every week by supposed genius Vince Russo. I was shocked when I read Vince Russo, Hulk Hogan, and Eric Bischoff will all be joining forces in TNA this January. Those three morons combined to lose more money with WCW in a single year than any wrestling promotion in the history of the sport. Its all right, I’m sure they will be pushing all the hot, young talent like Sting, Kevin Nash, and Scott Steiner come January 4.

"Get ready to get killed in the ratings, Brother!"

Quick hits:

-The only thing more shocking than BJ Penn dominating victory at UFC 107 over Diego Sanchez was Frank Mir’s decision to turn himself into Brock Lesnar. He put on about 20 pounds and added a giant back tattoo to keep up with Brock’s. All week, before and after his dominating victory of Cheick Kongo, Mir repeatedly spoke about his desire almost creepy obsession with changing his body to match Lesnar’s largeness. He is really angling for a third match with Lesnar, should Lesnar recover from his severe intestine problems and Mir get by Carwin in a interim title match this March in Newark. I was half expecting Mir to get a buzz cut and make his wife start calling herself Sable.

- Check out my recent show with Wes Mallette where we discussed Tiger Woods’ recent struggles. Tiger has to realize that the only reason people love him is his proficiency on the golf course. Indefinitely banning himself from playing golf isn’t going to win back any of his fans.

-Have yourself a very Merry Christmas this Friday. Enjoy the season and don’t forget to celebrate my birthday on December 26th! Check out the radio show and all the great articles by my correspondents. We love hearing and responding to your comments. I’ll be back in the next 10 days or so when I review how my 2009 predictions went. Check out the archive to find out for yourself.  PS- The band may be getting back together soon.

Happy Holidays!

~ by lordelevation on December 20, 2009.

Posted in Uncategorized
Tags: Bret Hart, Bret Hart Vince McMahon, Bret Hart WWE, eagles playoffs, Frank Mir, Hulk Hogan TNA, Philadelphia Eagles, Philadelphia Eagles week 15