2010 Year in Review: What happens to Hogan, Hart, Hardy, Tiger, and more!
Alright, everybody. I really enjoyed offering my predictions last Winter for 2009, and was quite surprised when a good bit of them came through. This time around, I’ll be mostly offering pro wrestling and MMA prognostications, however we’ll have a few general sports thrown in.
- The wrestling world will be shocked in October of 2010 when Hulk Hogan abruptly leaves TNA. Hogan will have grown disillusioned with the iMPACT zone environment and will seek to take his trade to an “Organization that knows how to draw, brother!” TNA fans will not be sad to see Hogan leave after months and months of younger talented guys being jobbed out to friend of Hogan re-treads. Fans will also grow pissed when Hogan never actually wrestles a single match in TNA. He will be married by the end of 2010 to his fiance who looks far too much like his daugther.
TNA fans knew something was up with Hogan when the Nasty Boys became the longest reigning (and fattest) tag team in TNA history.
- Scott Hall will be unceremoniously fired from TNA in February of 2010 when he shows up completely wasted to the iMPACT zone and proceeds to vomit all over Hogan, Eric Bischoff, and Dixe Carter at the same time. Hall will then reach his manifest destiny when he becomes a body double to an equally bloated and faded star Steven Seagal on the show Steven Seagal: Lawman. Producers realized Seagal didn’t actually have to be in Louisiana to film the show when nothing of note happens every single time he gets into the police car. To save costs, Hall pretends to be Seagal, while Steve is allowed to record all the voice overs in his basement.
Hey Yo: Welcome to Scott Hall: Lawman
- Jeff Hardy’s debut in TNA will come to a crashing halt when he is thrown in jail after being found guilty of all his drug charges in June of 2010. Matt Hardy will wish he is prison by June of 2010 after being jobbed out dozens of times as a way of being punished for Jeff’s sins by the WWE.
- Ric Flair will sadly end his American wrestling retirement after a singles match with Kurt Angle at TNA Lockdown. Millions of American wrestling fans will shake their heads in shame. Can I get a refund for Wrestle Mania 24 DVD?
- Tommy Dreamer will debut in TNA this April. He will come out and cry. He will then be hit in an unprotected chair shot from Abyss.
- Wrestle Mania 26 in Phoenix AZ will do over 1,000,000 buys headlined by Shawn Michaels’ rematch with the Undertaker and Bret Hart and Vince McMahon’s grudge match street fight type thing. People will go into Mania expecting the worst, but will be pleasantly surprised when McMahon bumps all over the place for the Hitman and they have a really fun ending to their storied real life rivalry. HHH will bury Sheamus in one of the worst matches of all time. I’m sorry, Celtic Warrior.
You know the drill. Click the picture to hear Bret Hart's interview on Elevation Radio.
- Drew McIntyre will randomly win the WWE title sometime in the fall of 2010. Meanwhile Evan Bourne, Jack Swagger, MVP, Kofi Kingston, and hundreds of others who are more deserving kick their doorstops in anger.
- The TNA Champion on January 1, 2011 will be Kurt Angle.
The WWE Champions will be:
Raw- HHH
Smackdown- Edge
ECW- ECW will cease to exist as a brand as we know it. I bet it becomes a Superstars like show, however if it continues to exist, I say Bryan Danielson is their champ.
2010: The Year of the Game. Sigh.
MMA Predictions:
-Strikeforce will continue to develop into a highly viable 2nd rung MMA promotion. Dan Henderson will beat Jake Shields for the middleweight title in April on a CBS show and will position himself as Strikeforce’s top star.
- Herschel Walker will be out of MMA by August of 2010. Trying to become a professional athlete in another sport at the age of 47 will turn out to be a poor idea.
- Big PREDICTION- Chuck Liddell will sign with Strikeforce by December of 2010. He will be a free agent after LOSING to Tito Ortiz in their 3rd match this Summer. Dana White will refuse to sign him due to health concerns. Strikeforce will swoop in and get him.
Chuck Liddell: Strikforce bound in 2010?
- The long awaited Fedor/Overeem Strikeforce title fight will never take place in the United States due to the fact Overeem realize his current “prescriptions” will cause him to fail any American drug test.
The UFC Champions on January 1, 2011 will be:
Lightweight- BJ Penn”"
Welterweight- GSP^
Middleweight- Anderson Silva
Light Heavyweight- Antonio Rogerio Nogueira
Heavyweight- Brock Lesnar*
“”- There are rumors Penn will move up in weight and leave the 155 weight class. If that happens, and Penn is stripped of the title- I think Frankie Edgar will be the lightweight champion.
^- GSP recently said there is a 50/50 chance he will take a leave of absence, from the UFC following UFC 111 in New Jersey, to concentrate on making the Canadian Olympic wrestling team in 2012. If this happens, I predict Mike Swick will win the welterweight championship.
*- There is a strong chance Brock Lesnar will be forced to vacate the title due to complications/surgery from his intestinal disorder. If he is unable to compete, Junior Dos Santos will be the UFC Heavyweight champ on 1/1/11
One of these Nogueira twins is Antonio Rogerio. He will be the UFC LHW champion on 1/1/11. I honestly don't know which one is him.
Regular sport champions:
NBA- Lakers over Cavs 4-2 in the finals
NFL- New Orleans Saints (38) – San Diego Chargers (27) *- edit- I had the Bengals, but they were eliminated in the very first game of the playoffs. Ignore that pick.
MLB- Phillies 4-1 over Yankees
I'm just going to keep predicting this scene gets recreated until it happens
- The Winter Olympics will be a total flop. People are still getting over Beijing. However, Bode Miller will surpass Scott Hall as America’s drunkest professioanl athlete.
- Tiger Woods will win 3 majors. Greg Norman will win the British Open.
Tool.
- Elevation Radio will continue to dominate the internet airwaves. Rudy from Notre Dame will continue to be an object of scorn.
Alright now I’m just making up crap. Time to wrap it up. Thanks for a great year.
lordelevation
globalcorrespondent
Bengals in the Super Bowl? Have you been drinking heavily?
Craig Dodge said this on January 7, 2010 at 1:31 am
No comment.
However, I went with them because I am tired of listening to all the experts tell me how they are the worst team in all of the playoffs. We’ve been down this road before the last 2 years.
Its basically a “fuck the man” pick.
lordelevation said this on January 7, 2010 at 1:57 am