The Outsiders' Edge

Read more or less of Ben Halls @ http://thebenhallsblog.blogspot.com/

I think that I’m still drunk and full of unneeded food from the whole festive period. I mean, I know that the Christmas\New Years celebration season is meant to be a bit of a time of excess, but frankly this year it was utterly ridiculous. I’m not sure if it is a sign of the times or what, but seemingly both myself and pretty much everyone else I know just said ‘You know what, to hell with it’ and let loose a bit more than usual. End result is I am still in quite a bad way, and I do not regret a damned thing.

There was no point to that segway whatsoever, by the way. I just felt that I had to let you know. Anyway, to business?

The Top Of The Tree

Although I think I may have been a little on the quick side to anoint Chelsea as Champions-elect before Christmas, I’m still standing by them. This is despite coming at a time when the Blues are dropping points like they are going out of fashion and have some top players about to depart for the African Cup of Nations. I still think they have that edge on everyone else.

I still think United are one more season away from being back to where they were and I don’t like the fact that Arsenal have neither Fabregas nor van Persie fit. Due to Arsenal’s stupidly good system, they are able to just fling players in at the last minute to any position and have a workable solution, but if I were a Gunner I’d be full of self loathing as well as feeling a lot more comfortable having at least one of the club’s two marquee players in the team. Nasri, Arshavin and Walcott are all more than capable young lads, but for me van Persie and Fabregas are needed, just like Liverpool thrive with Gerrard or Torres in the team.

Credit to them, though, Arsenal do have a game in hand on United. Assuming they win it, they would leapfrog United into second place. However, there is just something about Arsenal this year where they cannot decide for love nor money if they are a dominant top team or a wobbly group of nearly guys. Looking back at their results, they beat a good team like Spurs then collapse to a draw against West Ham. They beat Liverpool then can’t beat Burnley. When you sit down and watch Arsenal play, they either knock in 5 goals and look like Brazil or they get shut out and look like a group of guys trying to over complicate the matter. They are looking much more like the former these days, as their points tally proves, but my own personal jury is still out on them.

Elsewhere at the top, United are still on everyone’s radar, just 2 points off the top. All the pundits are back tracking on their early season gloom and doom and saying that United are finally ‘hitting their stride’. That being said, they still look like they are lacking a creative spark and have been absolutely taken-from-behind-in-a-dark-alley-and-ravaged by defensive injuries.

I suppose in my heart of hearts, after seeing all the teams play, I still see this ending Chelsea, Man Utd then Arsenal up top. And this comes from a United fan, by the way. Chelsea are just that little bit better than everyone else overall at the moment. And I can’t help but favour United over Arsenal for second. There are strong arguments for both, but I’m not convinced how Arsenal will cope without their two bestest players.

In the best of the rest contest, I still like Spurs over Villa, Man City and Liverpool. Liverpool are in a world of trouble and Villa are prone to late season slumps. Man City, though, with a new boss (more on that later) could well start winning the sorts of games that they drew before and be more dangerous.

Down Below, Where The Sun Don’t Shine

You can’t but ‘underneath the Christmas Tree’ for a relegation battle section, you know? Because that is where presents are kept, and presents are very, very good. These teams, however, are very, very bad.

Portsmouth…. oh god, we will give them their own little section in a minute. I can’t bear to write about them yet. It depresses me.

With Pompey all but certain to be gone from the Premiership, that leaves two slots available for other, less deserving clubs to share the same fate. I’m still standing by my early season picks of Portsmouth, Hull and Wolves to get the chop, but that is just me being stubborn. On a more analytical note, you want to see something cool? Alright, watch this…

The battle for 4^th place and the last Champions League spot is a straight shoot out between 5 teams seperated by 5 points – Spurs (37), Man City (35), Aston Villa (35), Liverpool (33) and Birmingham (32). Yeah, I know, I included Birmingham in that. If someone had said Birmingham in the Champions League discussion at the start of the season I’d have pointed and laughed as well, but they are 5 points off the pace and have a £40m transfer kitty. You sort of have to include them.

Anyway, if we take the same 5 point gap theory at the bottom of the table then every other team except Fulham is in the relegation battle. That’s right, have a look at the Premiership table and you will see that 9 teams are within two mistimed losses from tumbling out. Obviously, it isn’t that cut and dried but each and every one of those 9 teams is more than capable of such a collapse.

I said long ago that this stage of the season is just a land grab as teams try to stay afloat, so in the next 8 or 9 games I expect more than a few of those sides (Sunderland, Everton, Blackburn namely) to remove themselves from the relegation conversation. Right now, though, they are in it. The bottom of the table is just as interesting as the top, and right now there are no clear losers.

Well, that is a general overview taken care of. Lets have a little look at what else is going on, shall we?

African Cup Of Nations (aka How The Premiership Was Lost)

Didier Drogba. Michael Essien. Kanu. Toure. Adebayor. Song. Eboue. Yobo. Shittu. Bikey.

No, I am not just listing names here. These are all players who won’t feature for Premiership outfits at the beginning of 2010. Why? Because of the sodding African Cup Of Nations.

Its a wonder the whole continent doesn't get a headache looking at that stupid ball.

Like it or lump it, the African Cup of Nations falls in January instead of in the off-season. This means that a lot of teams lose valuable players. On a side note, it also happens every 2 years which is just ridiculous. Major international tournaments happen every 4 years. However, Africa didn’t get that particular memo it appears.

Up top of the table, Chelsea are the most hurt by this tournament – Didier Drogba, Michael Essien, Salomon Kalou and John Obi Mikel are all gone. At a time when they are dropping points and have a few injuries (most notably to Anelka, leaving them with no fit recognised strikers), that just sucks for them. I can see those losses, though, accelerating a few would-be summer transfers to this window. Down bottom, Portsmouth also loose four players, including their top league scorer Dindane. God knows they could do with all the help they can get.

There isn’t really a point of me mentioning this other than it is a current Premiership event and I feel somewhat compelled to. I mean, I have no opinion about it. If you are going to buy African players, you need to realise they are gone for this tournament. If you don’t realise this fact and then complain about it, then you are a dullard and deserve to be treated as such. You can’t ask these guys not to represent their country, so you have to just adapt.

Portsmouth Need To Be Put Out Of Their Misery

Portsmouth need to be put out of their misery. They need to be taken out back into the barn, given one last pat on the side and then be dealt with by the sort of tough love that only a heartbroken owner can understand. It’s time to tell the kids they have gone to another farm to live and then, before they can ask any difficult questions, give them a new action figure and whisk them off for a surprise trip to Disney Land.

DVD review of Portsmouth 2009/10 season.

From top to bottom, inside and out I have never known a more rotten Premiership organisation. Portsmouth, for already the third time this season, haven’t paid their squad their monthly salaries. They have an embargo on registering new players due to the outstanding debt they owe. Some clubs are threatening to begin very nasty legal proceedings to reclaim this money. Even the UK Government has a day in court with Portsmouth as they attempt to put them completely out of business over about $3m of unpaid taxes. In all likelihood, they will go into administration as a business and therefore have to take a 10 point reduction, sealing their fate.

What is worse is they have Avram Grant as manager. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the guy made his name managing in the 80′s and 90′s in Israel. That is hardly the multi-billion pound Premiership.

This is really, really sad for Pompey and their fans. I’m not even going to joke about it. Although I will joke about that fact that even Portsmouth can beat Liverpool….

Seeing any team in any sport fall into such a state is sad. I’m sure when Pompey fans had to see recently departed manager Harry Redknapp return to the city to accept a recognition award over their FA Cup win just a few years ago, they didn’t think it could get any worse. How wrong they were. Honestly, Al Davies could take over and it would be a marked improvement. Dan Snyder could organise a front office that would put this team at a metaphorical 8-8. Hell, I think their only hope is to put Vince McMahon in charge.

The Sackings Commence

Two more heads are on spikes down Management Alley – both Manchester City’s Mark Hughes and Bolton’s Gary Megson.

As for Megson, I both feel sorry for him and completely understand the decision. Although Bolton are firmly in the relegation battle, and are in the relegation zone, they have two games in hand on the rest of their bottom-of-the-table-buddies. They aren’t playing terrible football and an awful lot of their problems were caused when the fans turned against the management. Megson himself, in one of the emo moments which highlighted his last few games at the club, said that the fans never accepted him. I feel for the guy, as having rabid fan support is always more useful for a squad than any new player, coach or prostitute will ever be.

Maybe if I burn down the stadium, the people will love me.

That being said, Bolton are far from the club they were under the expert guidance of Sam Allardyce. His mixture of picking up veterans released from big clubs, somehow going after audacious signings successfully and finding a place for youth really worked. Megson’s rule has seen them still be far from a rotten club, but nowhere near where they were. His firing was one of those tough ones in the sporting world – you are doing okay under someone, but you want to be doing a whole lot better than just okay. Just look at Fulham – they were doing just okay, put Roy Hodgson in charge and all of a sudden were up, up and away.

Mark Hughes’ sacking was also thoroughly justified. He was never going to last with the new owners and basically all season long he has been doing a Jim Zorn impression. Man City have drawn a stupid amount of games, he has refused to alter tactics when he has needed to and all bar one of the high profile players he has chased has eventually gone elsewhere, which for all the pomp the club has come out with is a tad embarrassing. Sure, they got Adebyor and Tevez, but they would swap them in a heartbeat for Ribery, Kaka and Cristiano Ronaldo. Mancini, Hughes’ replacement, is better at coaching world class players, a better tactician and has a better achievement list. He will attract better players who want to work with him. You could see this swap coming a mile off.

What is disgusting, however, is the way that Hughes was given the boot. Allegedly, Hughes knew his fate was sealed when he took charge of his final game. Mancini was even rumoured to be sat in the owners box at the City Of Manchester Stadium. According to some sources, the deal was done up to 13 days before Hughes was canned.

Although all of this has been denied, it is a stupid denial. Even if Hughes was fired on merit after the Sunderland game (which City won, albeit not convincingly), you don’t get a guy like Robert Mancini in on 36 hours notice. You have negotiated that contract a long, long time ago. You have made Mark Hughes a lame duck without him even knowing it. In any profession, from football management to warehouse management, you do not treat a guy like that. Period. You sac up and talk to someone face to face, not slyly force them out.

Does The Premiership Need English Players?

During the flurry of activity that made up the Christmas period, one game sprung into the forefront for all the wrong reasons. When Arsenal made the frankly depressing journey down to Fratton Park to play Pompey, there was a first time thing happening in the Premiership – no English players were involved in the starting line ups of either side. None. Zip. Zero.

Last time I checked, this was The English Premier League that we all watch and love. Foreign players bring in a great spark to the game, and they should absolutely be encouraged. Regardless of nation, it is always awesome to see top players in English football.

The point where this becomes a grey area, though, is when you get to fringe and squad players. Do you really need that French\Spanish\Italian\etc guy who you are paying a few million quid for for no apparent reason, or is there an English player around who can do the same job? Maybe it is because English teams don’t like buying from Championship teams, and it is just too expensive to buy from other Prem teams, that transfer targets often come from abroad. Perhaps it is just the prestige. Who knows. End of the day, though, don’t English Premiership teams have some sort of prerogative to develop English players for the England national team? I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, the positions where we are weakest at the National level – goalkeeper, wingers, prolific strikers – are the positions where most Premiership foreigners are found.

The truth of the matter, though, is this is a bit of a moot point. No matter what FIFA and UEFA and the FA and Me want to do about it, we can’t. Due to the super fun employment laws in Europe, anyone with a European passport can work anywhere in Europe. That goes for people born outside of Europe but who have ties to the continent, such as an Arsenal squad made up of players born in former French African colonies. It sucks, as I would love to see a requirement that in any match day squad at least 3 of the 18 English with two more just more generally British. But, allas, any attempt to do that would be firmly illegal. Humph.

FA Cup 3^rd Round

United just got dumped out of the FA Cup by old foes Leeds United. Words cannot describe how angry this has made me. Other than that, there were no other shocks. West Ham got booted out by Arsenal, but other than that nothing of note has happened. That is all.

2010 Predictions

Well that is pretty much it from me for the moment. I have gotten to the point where I would feel bad if I dumped on Liverpool any more so shall leave off them for this week. But, before I sign off and go set up the replacement Xbox 360 I just bought, let’s have a quick look forward to the footballing year of 2010 with some predictions, eh? I feel 10 is a disturbingly logical number of them for 2010. Therefore, I shall do 11…

1)      England get to the quarter finals of the World Cup, then lose on penalties. This always happens. It is like the changing of the tides. We should accept it and move on.

2)      Portsmouth will find a way to finish the season on negative points while confused owners try to understand why they got relegated instead of being able to draft Ndamukong Suh with the number 1 overall pick.

3)      American based players coming to the Premiership for 5 month slots will become the cool thing to do. Beckham does it. Donavan does it. In fact, I think UEFA and MLS should encourage it. I bet that Major League Soccer would get a lot more prestigious players if they knew that they would get loaned back to a Premiership squad  for the business end of the season.

4)      Drew Carey will try to capitalise on the success of the Seattle Sounders by integrating them into a ‘Whose Ball Is It Anyway’ style of show. In this, the Sounders will kick balls at Wayne Brady, Colin Mochrie, Ryan Stiles and a C-List comedian. On each ball will be a suggestion for a scene. Wayne will then sing and act like he has ADHD, Mochrie will break forth with self deprecating humour, Ryan will be grouchy and make himself laugh while the C-List comedian will try their hardest to steal attention and attract network scouts for that pilot show that him and his drinking buddy wrote. Drew will then subjectively award goals. You know what, I’d watch that show…

5)      Sir Alex Ferguson will explode with fury. Look at him at the moment, he is primed and ready to go.

6)      Inversely, Didier Drogba will implode with arrogance.

7)      Cristiano Ronaldo’s record £80m transfer fee will be broken, probably by Torres as rumours are already abound with Man Utd, Man City, Chelsea, Real Madrid, Barcelona and Pee Wee Herman ready to bid around £120m for the baby-faced Spaniard.

8)      During the World Cup, there will be at least another 2 instances where video replay technology is obviously required. Sepp Blatter and Michael Platini will then say something has to be done, do nothing and blame The Premiership.

9)      Thierry Henry goes to MLS. This is not a joke, I can see it happening.

10)  Ryan Giggs’ renaissance will abruptly end with an injury. Sadly, this is not a joke either. As much as I love Ryan, 36 year old legs cannot bear his burden for much longer. He has a history of muscle problems and I doubt he will be able to carry on the way he is going.

11)  The London Chronicles will be declared the toast of the internet, the leading semi-regular Premiership column out there and between us, Seniór Elevation and I shall fight crime.